I haven't bothered to blog. Why? Simply, because life has tossed me a couple hurdles. I'm having a real tough time getting past them too. Oh, let's see, I stood up for something I believed in, and ended my employment at what was my favorite place to work. The story isn't important, and I was letting bad morale get me down, and well, ya know, sometimes its time to just go. I fought it, because in my heart, I believed I was right. Needless to say, I could write a book, but I'd rather just chock it up to experience points, and move on. I tried to quit smoking... I lasted about 3 days, and finally gave in. I am going to try and moderate my nicotine habit though... which is the first step. The shakes were terrible. I have taken some real confidence hits as of late, everything from just not feeling myself, to botching interviews. I have lost myself... and now I am going to try to reclaim what I have lost. Lessons have been learned, and now its time to move on to the next big thing, whatever the hell that is. The job situation has been pretty stressful... I went to fielding 100k a year offers to nothing. What happened? Shit happens. That's the best way to explain it. I can do ANYTHING, but I have been focused on one thing for so long, that my other talents have just faded away. It's all still in my head, I just need to recall it. I'm no longer as ambitious as I was, for this is the 2nd time I lost what I was working for. Everyone always dangles a carrot in front of me, and like the horse, I go for it. The first time, it was circumstantial... dot com bust, everyone lost out... this time, it was more a bait and switch. Everyone wants me to cooperate... play ball with us, digi. Frankly, I'm tired of playing ball. I play ball, so you can cheat or steal, and get ahead. I provide you a solution, and you critique it like you know any better. All for what? So you can prove your superiority. There are lots of people superior to me, but these people will never be in that list. Never. On my worst day, I will always be one step ahead. Now, that I have gotten that off my chest... I just want to find a job at a place that will not fuck me over. I will work my ass off for that job, just give me my due. Don't tell me that I am too young, or not educated enough, or politics won't allow it. I built it, didn't I? I gave my all for it, and made it work. Something that many can not do, and I do it with ease, because I believe in it. Soooooo, next job criteria... be nice to me, don't screw me over, let me do my job, let me grow and exceed expectations. Push me, tire me, curse me, compliment me. Don't make me promises you can't keep, don't steal what I have offered you for free, don't treat me anything less then I am, a human being. How hard is that? Disagreements happen, personality conflicts happen, but these things CAN be worked through with success, IF both parties are willing to try.
Well... it was a interesting vacation (ended on June 10) and on that day, I received a call from my mother (who hasn't been feeling well) stating that my cousin had died. So, with only 4 hours of work on the clock, I left again to return to Oklahoma. I saw alot of family, heard alot of stories, and even met family that I had never seen. It was a experience, to say the least... I learned alot, and the funeral service was good, if one was to rate such things... My cousin will be missed by alot of people, as she had worked closely with the Cherokee nation, and other tribes. She was a good person, and she always pushed herself to do better for herself, and for others. This experience has prompted several things from me... I am learning to value family even more so then before, I am questioning my existence 6 hours away from said family, and I am taking the time to really learn my culture (as a Cherokee). I mean, I had always heard stories growing up, and I knew my family was close in the tribe, but never realized how close until I started researching. My cousin, was the geneologist of the family, and with her gone, it has made me think about things in a different perspective... someone in my family will have to continue these duties, and while its not me, someday it will be. My children will have a rich heritege (in some ways, this is a curse) and they will need to learn. So, I am reading, and thinking . The usual. I have kind of started to learn how to speak Cherokee (my grandparents and thier generation were fluent, something I did not find out until after my grandma died). http://www.cherokee.org has some great resources... maybe someday I will be as fluent as my family and I will find someone to speak it to... there seemed to be no shortage of speakers at the funeral, as I heard Cherokee spoken and sung, as well as Osage. It was interesting. In other news, it is defintely a June month at my work.. fiscal year begins July 1, and the yearly reorgs have begun. It's like watching a soap opera. I have been fighting with Cisco AAA items, and my head is still not quite clear. I am considering college again, and trying to figure out where I should be, and what I should be doing.
This is going to be one weird summer... no doubt.
Ahhhh, lazy vacation days. I have been truly vegging between the PS2, and the computers... I have only been leaving the house for food... Well, yesterday, I drove the motorcycle up to Arbys to snag a 5 for 5... and I get a call on the cell... My mother. I answer the phone, and tell her that I will call her back... I get back to the house, and she has left me a AIM message stating that the rumor back home is that I died. People are saying that I died in a car wreck. WTF?! I'm dead???? How cool is that? I mean, how would these people even know? My home town is 350 miles away, 3800 people, and none of them really know much about what I do, or where I live... except for a couple good friends. My friends wouldnt start rumors like this, so I have no idea. So, my mom wanted to know that I was okay. Of course, I am okay. I guess that people have been calling her and asking her about my death... How funny. So... the agenda today? Little as possible... although I might slip out to the best buy and snag a couple of Aces for Forgotten Battles... Fly a p-38.. yaaaaaar. I am also thinking about putting a 2 meter ham radio in the truck... but I need an antenna. It has been years since I was seriously into radios, and I am scared of it... the last time I was into radios, I had enough to fill a small room. I have been a licensed ham since 1996... I can't believe that I will be renewing it in 2 years! OH... the reason I am thinking about radio again... Last night, we had one hellava storm. 300,000 without power I think. I used to do a bit of spotting... I know down here, it is a really formal thing, but I am considering it... chasing weather is fun! Sooooooooo, I just might get this stuff up and running... I feel myself getting into a pattern here, and I will have to break it soon if I am going to get anything accomplished during this time off... I am gonna go get to it. This is me, from the afterlife, saying... BOO!
Okay. Plans change. I had intended to go out of town and see a friend, and it looks like that is not happening. I am at a true loss... I have no idea of what I am going to do for vacation... I should do SOMETHING... although I am thinking that it might be best if I just lay around for 9 days. Get a little bored, and I will be more eager to go back to work when the 10th comes... Hell, I don't know. I kinda want to go back to Oklahoma, and mess around, but... I don't know. I could take the truck just about anywhere, but I have no idea... I thought about just packing up some stuff, and picking a direction... just drive. My ass outta here. Again, I do not know. I am not looking forward to this next month at all. I need to do something \"fun\" (what is that?) while I can, as its about to get really hectic. I wish I had my passport and about 5 grand... I would just hop a flight and goto Japan. *sigh* One thing is for sure, if I hang out here, I am going to die of Coca Cola intake. hehe... Ah well.. I am just going to sit here and veg out I guess... inspiration will eventually hit me. Until then, I am going to veg until I pass out (probably soon) and enjoy some Steely Dan. Yeah.
So... Friday night was uneventful. Took the motorcycle into Dallas, and drank. Empty stomach...all I had was the sushi, and some jalepeno poppers... 4 long island iced teas later, and the bar closing, I cruised the bike home, and passed out... Woke up around noon, head pounding. Decided to go shoot guns, broke out everything from the gun safe, and packed it up. Called Bulet Magnet, and DataShark... Ended up just going to Basspro and shooting pistols. Came back, hungry as hell, feeling kinda pissy due to lack of food... The double redbulls did not do much for the pounding of head, and the steady pounding of the indoor pistol range did not clear things up either... I unloaded about 200 rounds of .22 and about 200 rounds of 9mm. I found out that I shoot a 9mm pretty decent in a one-handed duel stance. I shot one-handed offhand, and put a round into the center black at 20 feet. Not bad, even though I felt like I was waving... Sooo, pissy, and hungry, we came back, Bulet Magnet headed for Dallas, as his hip was bothering him... I cleaned my pistols, and DataShark killed his teammates in SOCOM... His wife calls, demands cigerettes... He calls DarKnight, and time passes. Data takes his wife smokes when DK showed up, and I reorg the gun safe. Freshen up a little bit, and they come back, and we are off to Benigens for dinner. Service sucked, food was off, and we waiting for a hellish long time... Pissyness ensuing with me, and starting to spread, Data talks with the manager...
We leave, Data's family units head for home, and we head for Gameworks. Enter bar. Have beverages for 10 minutes, and leave to hit the movies. We saw \"Day After Tomorrow\"... decent flick, hollywood drivel of course, but entertaining. Sooooo, I just came in a few minutes ago, and had to take care of some nature... (TMI?) and so, I continued on Pattern Recognition (flying through it, so far, so good... Gibson still rocks my socks) and lo and behold! 33 pages are MISSING from my fucking book! Chapter 13 goes from page 120 to page 153. WTF? I examine said treasured book for signs of tampering... none. It hasn't been ripped. I examine chapters... the next chapter is like chapter 18. I have been robbed of my favorite authors pages. For once, I am at a loss... a true loss. I will not take the book back, but I will enter the BN, and examine other copies. If I find a unmutated copy, I will buy it... and continue my travels with CayceP. Anyways... I am a little miffed... not for just the loss of pages, but because this will force me to travel into the netherworld known as Barnes and Nobel. WTF. I can't go into that place without buying half of it. Not fair. I am forced to do it though, because other book stores suck. Books-A-Million (Grapevine Mills mall) is worthless... to put it bluntly... If I went into Books-A-Million with the intent to buy a holy bible, the Books-A-Million would not have it.
Rat bastards. Do not toy with me in this way. Let's see... Oh I must offer random people an apology for last night... I believe that I might have drunkenly typed things last night, and while I really don't care, just know that I was drunk. Kthx... moving right along... I am tired, but not tired enough to enter the abyss of sleep, so I might entertain myself by playing SOCOM... maybe. Tomorrow, I may go to see Troy. It looks to be a decent movie (I love history, even though Hollywood screws with it) and I am behind on movies lately... I do live in a cave, ya know. I really wish I could just watch this stuff on my computer (legally, with better quality). I really don't like going to theaters that often. I like to watch on MY schedule... because its really hard to justify the time... movies are too damned passive. You just sit there, and yes, they can be fun and entertaining... but the veg factor... I just feel my brain slipping into mush mode. I believe the brain is a muscle... you must work it, and I fear my brain being turned into mush. Interactivity is where its at.. even if its a video game... anything that makes things fire consistently...
SOooooooooooooo... I am going to go blow stuff up. Until next update, be good.
Its time! Well... I am burning the remaining days in my vacation... I have never been able to do this... Soooooooo.... I am off from right now until
June 10th! I am still on call until Monday, but my boss let me come in late and leave early... I stayed late last night upgrading a Cisco Secure ACS
server... Had a pretty decent day today... I got a new seat for the motorcycle, and so I rode the bike into work today... I had sushi for lunch, by myself, but it was peaceful. I got some last minute things done at work, and upgraded another Cisco box... I am now sitting here at the house, wondering what to do next. I am thinking about fishing... but, I could start things out right by playing some SOCOM... I dunno. I have books to read (Lots more Stephenson, and I am currently reading \"Pattern Recognition\" by William Gibson (my FAVORITE author). I paid most of the bills this morning... so, after I check the snail mail ( I do this only twice a month) and drop off the rent check, I am without obligation. The bike is looking good, the house is fairly clean, and for the first time in a long time, I am thinking about things other then work. It does no good to worry about work... Things are going to be what they are, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I am just going to try and be mindful of the future, and try to live... I can't imagine what to do with all this time. I might go out of town, but I gotta see how things land. Hmmm, already a plan is formulating... I think I will play some guitar, as I have been neglecting as of late, and then maybe hit some socom, and maybe I will break out a cigar and sit outside... Thinking about hitting the bar tonight (whoa, I can hit the bar EVERYNIGHT)... I am putting information security matters on hold... or hell, maybe I will hack something here at the house for fun... its been a long time since I had played around.. my day to day is pretty lame anymore... Well, used to, I was the front man for analysis, and now... I am just a engineer. Some people call this a promotion, but hell, I was ALWAYS a engineer. I was engineering from the first 5 minutes of entering that place. I dunno... I have basically industrialized the process of making Snort machines... I have been talking alot with pr00f about how we can take the Snort appliance to the next level. Hell, maybe we both should be working for Sourcefire. But... ya know what they say, there is no such thing as a original thought, and I have seen some Sourcefire stuff... they are headed in the right direction...
I am sure that our stuff pales in comparison. Snort is still fun to build and architect though.. . and its great to push opensource applications into business... and watch them work. I am taking a hard look at the Honeyd project now... and I am thinking about industrializing much like the Snort project. I am not as large of a fan of honeypots as I am IDS's though. I get into great debates with people about the value of IDS. What value is it? Well, to me... its a great view of the network, one that most people normally do not get. Face it, shit happens. Servers get owned. Desktops get infected... Viruses no longer propogate by simple filesharing, but they are network enabled, a application in their own right... You have to be able to see these... even with virus protection, you cannot detect propogations. People are leaning hard to intrusion prevention tech, but I am not down with that... As cool as it would be to see a Gibson-like future (think black ice, and neuromancer) we are not there yet. I don't trust IPS... I do trust a analyst who like myself, has been there, and done that, and knows what to look for. I trust a guy that can explore bits of traffic based on intuition (something a machine will never have, at least not in our lifetime)... Ahhh, the old days... there was nobody like us watching... anymore, there are traps, honeypots, ids's, ips's, teams of guys just waiting for you to make your move... And I have found the way to defeat them all. Digi's 2nd law of information (information saturation).... but still, there are some analysts out there that are better then I ever will be, catching those types of attacks via intuition... Intuition is damned hard to explain to an executive... damn hard... but it works. Anyways, I didn't want to rant about information theory, or anything like that... we were talking about my vacation, and what the hell am I going to do with this much time off anyways? Hopefully, I will remember \"fun\" again. What is fun anyways? I have no idea... I guess most people when they get to be like me, they have families and they find it again, but I don't really have anyone that is that type of family. That would mean emotional attachment and letting someone into myself fully... That would mean *gasp* trusting someone... To demonstrate my trust factor, I sleep with a 9mm. It's not paranoia, its just the way of things. It's a evil world, and all we can do is take the good and try to make it spread. I just can't commit to anyone. My mom says that I should \"powerdate\" but what the hell is that? I don't want just anyone.. I want just one, and that someone is very fucking special, thank you very much. So, I have figured out that there are many levels to Digi (someone said like a onion, but I missed the reference). Why the hell am I typing all this? It's my vacation dammit... (yes, yes, I am on call until Monday, but I don't work weekends that often anyways, so I am off work really!)... Rant rant, ramble ramble... I think I'll fire up that guitar now, and bust out some digi tracks. Until next update... be well, love each other, don't work too hard, and uhhh, stay sane.
I wrote a really long rant, but I lost it. Stop media monopoly - boycott clearchannel and the businesses that advertise on clearchannel. RIP 97.1 the Eagle. No more rockstation for Dallas.
(23:55:49) Digitalebola1: i think i might join the peace corp.
Been a while since last post. The last few weeks have been different, both good and bad I spose. Starting with a couple of weeks ago, I embarked on my vacation (pictures are up) to Portland/Seaside/Seattle. Dot was good enough to put me up and play tour guide. She is super fun, and knows the area very well. We hit some local bars, and the beach at Seaside, as well as the touristy things in Seattle. It was weird going back to Seattle after something like 5 years... I can honestly say that I have grown since then. April 26th was my dad's birthday, I called him from Portland International to wish him well, he is now 56. Whoa. I resumed work on the 27th, and this last week has been rough. I have been pretty depressed about work... where my department is going, where the industry is going, and the local events. I wasn't feeling well on Tuesday, so I called in late... in the process of showering, I slipped and fell into the door of my bathroom... I felt pretty old on that one. I am usually pretty quick on my feet (I have been called quite graceful in the middle of immediate gravitational challenges) but this one hurt me pretty good. So I have been hobbling around for most of the week. I need a new challenge... work is just work. I feel the passion leaving me, and it pretty well sickens me. I need to create and build again. On another note, my boss was cool enough to let us go early on Friday, as most of engineering had already cut out... so I grabbed Super Dave, and we went to my place at Grapevine... This was our meeting spot to prepare for the Rangers game. Roadtrip, his woman, Edfgreen and pr00f all showed up and we journeyed to Arlington. The weather was not good, but we got some good pictures. It was very cool though, because we were walking in to buy our tickets, and this random dude came up and GAVE us 6 tickets. The tickets were for covered seating, and were worth about 42 bucks each. That was one of the coolest things I have ever seen anyone do... His only request was that we buy him beers. We happily obliged this request (something to the tune of \"we will get this guy VERY VERY drunk\"). hahah.. if the world was filled with people like that, then we would live in a better place! Random acts of coolness... We ended up sitting there, watching the field and the monitors... After some postponement, it was finally announced that the game was canceled. We had a pretty good buzz going at this point, so we decided to leave. Not one minute after walking out of the stadium, the rain hit. Big, BIG drops. By the time we reached the trucks, we were seeing marble size hail. So... we drove away, through the crappy weather... Super Dave and I came back to Grapevine, and prepared to hit the bar. The drive into Dallas was quite surreal, because of all the lightning and the backdrop of downtown. I had to pick up pr00f, because edfgreen was scared of the storm or something... haahh california people amuse me. I guess if you have never witnessed a texas storm, it could be disturbing. pr00f had never seen this stuff either, and he was awestruck. He took some great movies with his camera. I can't wait for these guys to see a tornado... hehehe. I am pretty sure if I ever decided to start chasing storms again, pr00f would go. We can convert him! Anyways, after picking up pr00f, we hit the bar, and come to find out, it was Eloy's birthday. Eloy is one of the bartenders, and he is pretty freaking cool. The entire bar recieved a shot at midnight in his honor. It also gave us a good reason to take pictures (pr00f went nuts on the girls, he shot a good number of the pictures that are on my album). I was drinking long island iced teas... many many many. After the bar closed, I came home, and I think I might have drunk dialed half of dallas. hahahah. I spent some time on the computer, sent a few emails (one should NOT send email while intoxicated). I took one of the laptops to bed, and ended up passing out in the middle of typing something. Great. Soooo, after sleeping in a good portion of the day, I am trying to decide if I have enough constitution points for round 2. DataShark and Lohki have been calling me to get me in on a poker game... These guys are good at poker, so I am refusing to be cannon fodder. It's funny to listen to DataShark... \"come on man! It's fun!) oh yah.. fun for someone who is
a expert at it... hahaha, he plays all the time. I think I will probably hop in the shower, and go find something to eat. If I feel a little better (I feel remarkably good at this moment, despite the festivities) I will go back down to Dallas, and hook up with Super Dave and the crew. I think Roadtrip and his woman wanted to hit Deep Ellum tonight. There may also be more Eloy celebration tonight as well. It's probably going to be a fun night in Dallas! Oh, I noticed something about my cat... she is quite bothersome UNLESS you play either Prodigy or Aphex Twin. I put on the Prodigy -Aphex Twin remix of \"Breathe\" and she just stopped beating on me to lay down and goto sleep. How funny is that... Poe is a hacker cat. Or raver.. I haven't given her NOS yet.. hahahaha. Anyways, it's saturday night, so live it up! Peace.
pr00f put this up in his blog.. so I will do the same..
Well... not much goin on. Went to the bar last night... drank a little bit, and came home. Pretty uneventful. The weather was beautiful last night, so I rode the motorcycle into Dallas. Thankfully, the week is over, and a weird one it was. I think I got some stuff done, but I am not looking forward to Monday... I defintely need a vacation. Burnt. Out. So, between the bible and the quantum physics books, I think I am feeding my head sufficiently. I kinda feel like drooling on the carpet actually. I think part of me is really really searching for the meaning of life as well as how science fits in with theology, and history.
Pretty interesting stuff. Basically, I think it means that I am tired of computer stuff at this moment, and I have too much time, because I am a bachelor. hahaha. Well, I have a ton of rants to type up for this place, but I am not in the mood right now, due to a slight headache and some slight hunger... so I'll post later.
Hi. Yah yah, I am kinda bummed... I guess its work mainly. Things just arent the same. I feel like I a
\"leveraged resource\" rather then a person. I feel
that I am now stuck. Silly, isn't it? Going from being the Go-To Guy in Security to Engineer, is kinda tough. I like engineering, don't get me wrong, but somehow, I feel that its mundane in some ways. It's not out in the front lines, it's not really encouraging people to learn, it's not driving the boat. Rather, I am a paddler. I guess this is good, I don't miss the stress one bit, but, I remember why I had accepted the stress in the first place. I am anti-social, but a leader. That is weird I think... but after reading my personality profile, it makes some sense. I like challenges. I like new things. I don't like feeling like I work in the NSA... I don't like not knowing things. I like openness in my environment.
I am a pretty up-front guy, and I had a open door
policy... You can come to me with a problem. Sometimes I feel that if _I_ have a problem, people would use it against me. Anyways, latest happenings... Orkut gave my profile back to me, citing that I had ignored a request to change my name \"Digital Ebola\" to something real. I never got the request, and I don't like being made to feel stupid. Of course, there is a chance, that maybe I did get one... but I don't think so. I have egrepped my mail box looking at all the communications from Orkut since I joined, and I don't see one. I am kinda touchy on this subject.. . Really, who are they to tell me what MY name is?
I have been published as Digital Ebola. People at my work call me Digi. My friends call me digi. So who is Orkut to tell me what my name is? Hopefully, they will let me keep my account. It would be nice. They will not determine who I am though. Let's see... last weekend, we drank in honor of Bulet Magnets trip to India. Not much really happened. I finally got my laundry done, bills paid, and house picked up. Crabby brought me over a new Bible, which is super cool, and I have been reading that. Oh and Dreawn is in town. He has been crashing here. I took him out for sushi last night, and he said he had never had it before. He liked it. He is REALLY into crypto. A great person to converse with about history and tech. Not much else going on... I gotta go, my phone is ringing, my AIM is getting swamped, and I am 4 minutes late for SOCOM. Peace.
Well... I got a automated response from Orkut:
Ahhh, a great finale to a crappy day. I come home, eat a sandwich and talk to pr00f on the phone. Pr00f is a great conversationalist. Anyways, feeling stressed and tired, I decide to check the messages and forums on Orkut. I have been a member almost since the damn thing went online... and what did I find? I'll show you:
Well.. This weekend has been a drinkfest.Friday night, DataShark, Lohki, and myself went to Lewisville... DataShark got his tat's finished, and
Lohki and I played pool. We drank. Alot. Lohki just kept the Yager shots coming... between that and the beer.. toasty. Midnight rolled around, and the place closed, Data had his tat finished, and was ready to go home. We were not. After we were dropped off, we went to Wilhoites, just down the street, and drank more. I ended up being asked to escort Lohki away, as he was no longer coherent of his surroundings. We came back, and he passed out on the couch, and I trudged to bed. My cell phone broke sometime Friday night. Looks like the display broke from the inside.. dont know how, but ask anyone, my phone sucked. Saturday morning, hungover badly, I got up when the damn thing rang. No display, but it still talked... it was Black_Hat... he underwent some stuff, and needed to talk... I wasnt very coherent and the piece of shit phone cut off. Like normal. I dodged the walls to get into the living room, and took some excedrin.. drank some water, and plopped in front of Wintermute.. stared at the screen for a few hours, until my motor functions were under control... cleaned myself up soon after, got Lohki up, and we had breakfast at Dennys. Soon after, I plopped 300 down on new phone, Samsung VGA-1000.Nice phone.. doesnt cut off the calls. Took Lohki back to his car, and I went home and fiddled with the phone. Worked on getting numbers back in it... When I looked up, it was 7:30pm... I called DarKnight and made plans to go to Times Square. We stopped at a mcdonalds, had some food, and went out... lots of women for sure. Talked about life, and played pool. I tried not to drink, but the people were getting to me. I downed a shot of Tequlia sans chaser, lime or salt, and the bartender chick made one of those \"yah baby, you shoot tequlia like a man\" remarks. I've heard this before, and its quite charming. About halfway into beer #1, my pool game started picking up, and I could deal with the people somewhat. I was trying very hard to not notice the people making out all around us... being single, and somewhat shy at the time, picky, and cautious.. well, thats prolly why im single. I did a pretty good job of shutting out the world, noticing the girls walking around, and playing pool. Of course, because I had done this, some dude sat down on my stool, and started making out with some chick. I accidently spilled my beer on him I think.. finally they went away. Depressed, I started playing pool with a vengence, laying down runs on poor DK... Some chicks came by shortly after, and one of them declared next game. She shook my hand, and held onto it for a while... and of course, I'm trying to figure this flirting stuff out, since she was just making out with some dude a few tables over. So, after another game of pool between DK and I, she finally finished making out with this dude, and came over to play. She pretty much took over DK's part in the game, and she declared a money game. 10 bucks... now, me being me, of course I accept. She calls the first game a warmup game, so I lose it. We play the second, and she continued her flirting act.. very aggressive woman. I was wondering what her man across the room was thinking of this. She gets down to one ball on the table, and I had 2. 8 ball was free.. I ran it out, and took the 8. She ended up only giving me 5 bucks.. but hey, 5 bucks from a female... whoohoo. Soon after, they went away, and last call was somewhat quietly announced. I got my debit card back, and another beer, and we closed the place. I dropped DK off and came home. Still depressed about the woman situation. Bleak. So... Sunday left.. I wonder what it will bring. I should do some laundry and pick up the house. Balance the checkbook. Maybe buy a really big fish for the fishtank. Or who knows, maybe Ill just sleep all day. I pretty much started drinking again, liver/kidneys be damned. I'm not really spose to be drinking heavy, because of the liver/kidney thing, but what the hell. I'm starting to sleep a little better, and in crowds... I pretty well need something to maintain. I'm doing everything I can to not think of work in my offtime. Trying to be somewhat normal.. but I sometimes wonder if I am a little too normal. Who knows. I guess I'll smoke the last cig of the evening, and get some sleep. I'll try to be productive tomorrow, I promise.
Ahh.. these evenings are becoming a routine. I leave work, and I am home about 5:30pm. I play with the cat and play computer... Sometimes I eat, sometimes not. Sometimes I have a beer or three, sometimes not. Pretty boring. Empty. My to-do list at work is pretty full, and I guess that is good. I
am supposively getting my truck back tomorrow. I have been battling with the other dude's insurance.. the lady is a straight up bitch. I guess we shall see how this goes... I think im going to miss my rental truck, its roomy and has some umph to it. I don't really have much to say, I am just here... Don't feel like really doing anything. Pully introduced me to Serious Sam... a very addicting first person shooter. I have been kicking it online, kinda like quake. I am getting ready for bed now, because my wrists are hurting for some reason.. fingers too. Actually, so are my knees. Hmm.. I really don't have much to say. Bye.
Oh, where to begin. I spent most of last week, working and trying to take things easy. I spent evenings at the gun range, or at the lake. I drove the motorcycle out to the lake, took a cigar and the acoustic guitar. Played for a while, while the sun set. I got my new lappy for work, it is pretty awesome. Gateway m675, 3.2 ghz, 17 inch screen, gig of ram. Very nice. I had a date, it went well, but we were spose to get together again on Thursday, and possibly Friday... it didnt happen. Kinda bummed about that. Roadtrip, pr00f, super dave and I went barhopping Friday night. Started out at the Rose, went out to Red River, and saw the Bellamy brothers. Roadtrip and I rode the mechanical bull. pr00f did not think it was wise to ride the bull, so he refrained. I tried every tactic I could think of. We had pretty girls ask him to ride it, even drunk dialed court from work (who is MEGA HOT) and had her ask. Did not work. We ended up going back to the Rose to close it out. I met this amazing girl, who likes to read sci-fi.. and just happens to be the valet's girlfriend. *sigh* Roadtrip, pr00f, bullet magnet and myself ended up going to IHop for breakfast. I don't recall when I got home. I slept in pretty late on Saturday, and ended up just sleeping the rest of the day on the couch... woke up around 9 pm, and got a little restless. Drove down to work, and picked up a machine from Gridmark... I moved the mud over to it and fell asleep at 6 am this sunday.. woke up at noon, and started scripting some more backend stuff, and did a fair bit of coding on it... I ordered pizza and vegged in the mud code. Now, the heart burn is killing me, I'm feeling kind of down, and im doing laundry. Vacuumed the floor, picked up the trash, cleaned out Poe's box. I am washing like everything in the house laundry-wise.. including the sheets. I get weird urges to clean sometimes... Yah, not feeling so great tonight... Would be really nice to curl
up in front of a movie with a nice woman... Perhaps its time that I start considering my vacation... at least get a change of scenary, and who knows what could happen. No tech, just beach, and fun stuff. Ah well, tomorrow is a new day... ill get my laundry in a bit, and then ill be able to get some sleep. I got my new whiteboard for work on friday, and I havent hung it up yet... something to look forward to. No words of wisdom, smoke em if you got em.
Well... Things tend to work out in weird ways. It takes stepping back to move forward, and so the sources of my depression, work problems... well, they are no longer present. I have moved into a security engineering role in my company. It's weird... I mean, yah, I do engineering things, but I have never been in the position where that was my sole responsibility... I got it figured like this: I turn caffine and nicotine into workable solutions. My specialty, of course, is Open Source and Snort IDS. My boss, is working out better then I had thought... of course, things have been kept pretty light so far, but if everything keeps going as it has the last 2 days, I could see a very long relationship here. There is no more stress, there is no more worry... basically, they say we need $THING and I will do everything to make that happen. I am learning to not live my job, and to find other things. It is a promotion, but it wasn't a anticipated plan. Things work out funny like that sometimes. I am just glad for the stress to be lifted... the depression is slowly coming off me, and I am actually feeling more energetic. There is also another development, and that is a certain female... well... I have been talking to this one certain female on the net, for about a week now. She seems to be very cool. I have been kinda closed off for sometime in that department... not that I didn't date, it was just thats all it was. I've had other ideas in my mind, and I realize that sometimes, again, things don't always work out as planned. Or hoped. Sometimes we have to let it go, and if something is supposed to be, it will. Yeah yeah... another paper, discussion and argument over what I believe the layout of the universe is... but I think I might actually have a small distorted grasp of it.. at least enough to know my place somewhat and be able to cope. Back to my point... I have been kind of a monk in the relationship department. Very guarded, very picky... I'd meet girls and date them, and I guess that was fine, but I never held onto them... because, it wasn't who I wanted to be. My close friends would scratch their heads, and say \"what was wrong with her? You are doing this to yourself, man.\" and I'd just look at them. Well... I have to open up. I have to live life, and let things take their course. Tired of fighting it... and it seems like somethings are working out. I might have a date this weekend... although unconfirmed, I am hopeful. In other news... theres not much going on. I have been working on my gun collection, and have been doing some shooting. I got my 9mm back from the shop, and it is supposively fixed, although the smith recommended a new magazine... Roadtrip and Bulet Magnet picked me up one last night. I am sitting here at work, debating about some range time tonight. I really do need to go, because I haven't fired my 9mm since I got it back.. and a untested weapon is a useless weapon. Soooooooo.... I guess I will get back to engineering things.. kernel compiles and more. Have a good one, everyone.
Well.. My state of mind has improved a small bit. I still feel doom and gloom, but I am holding steady.
Roadtrip and his cousin.. what do we call him anyways? Bulet Magnet heheh.. well, they came over and we went to the range. My 9mm is not feeding right.. getting to be quite annoying, so I left it with the gunsmith. I looked at the Ruger p95.. its okay, but I didn't go for it. Shot the .22 mostly.. we came back to the house and drove the RC car around. Now I am sitting here, wondering what to do with the Saturday night. Last night was okay, I went to the bar, had a couple shots of Tequilia and some coronas... My stomach started bothering me and so I went home. Talked online to a friend of mine for a couple hours and went to bed. Hoping that things change for the better... I'll probably just sit here tonight and play some SOCOM 2, and maybe pick around on the guitar. Weather was great today.. Spring is coming.. That will lift my mood greatly, I can't stand the cold.
Anyways, ill probably blog later, maybe something good will happen tonight!
Oh joy. 2 hours into the day, and I have had two acts of hostility towards me. Imagine this, someone tried to lecture _ME_ on security. *sigh* what the hell. Price of progress I spose. I need a vacation. This has been a crappy week. Anyone doing anything cool in Dallas tonight?
Yep. Didn't sleep too well. One more day... thats all I have to say. Hey, if everything keeps up the way its going, it will all soon be normal! Return to normality! Nothing will be abnormal, because the crap will have persisted for a period of time. It will be SNAFU. HAH! Anyways.. some insight to digi courtesy of eharmony.com (does this even work?)
One more time.
double yew tee eff!
I mean really. What is the use? I get up today, and start to feel that its going to be a good, and it's one of the crappiest ones yet. I didn't get anywhere at work, and I had a meeting that went totally wrong... Which made me feel even worse. I finally said hell with it, and went to lunch. I slipped up to DataShark's work, and smoked a cigerette, and then hit the mcdonalds drive-thru... it started pouring down rain, and you could barely see to drive.. After work, I came home and ended up going to Dennys to talk to Data and have something to eat.. I wasn't hungry, so I had a salad and made faces at Data's wife and little one.. oh and vented. Slippin, slippin, slippin. I guess I won't ever be optimistic in the mornings again, thats for sure. Oh yah, I changed the colors.. a little sec action and some template changes.. I might actually spruce some things up. Hell, I don't even feel creative now. I feel beat down. I am trying to remind myself that life has its ups and downs.. Everything has a reason.. try to be positive, trying to take some people's advice and not take work so seriously. I just don't want to be mediocre. That's all. I want to do things right. I want success. Is this wrong? Maybe I have lost focus. Maybe I shouldn't be concerned with the big picture. Maybe I should be mediocre. Hmmm.. I have a quotes file and it contains one that comes to mind... and it's mine actually. \"Every day is a new opportunity for success or failure, the mark of the lazy man is the outcome of neither.\" Maybe thats some Mark Twain BS, but somehow it came out of my head... and its quite true. Right now, I feel that I am failing. Which I guess is better then nothing. I see so many people that settle for nothing. They are happy just showing up and collecting their check. I can't stand that! I can't stand people that just take up space, bs their way through stuff... You can't fake the moment. That's all there is to it. Why do people try? So, tomorrow is Friday. I need to find something cool to do this weekend. I need to get out, and away. I have no idea what I am going to do. Maybe I will goto the aquarium or something. Hell if I know. I need to get some vitamins or something... I am dragging majorly... I wake up in the morning and it takes great effort just to get up and going. Thats not normal... Who the hell knows. I have nothing more to say. I think I will goto sleep.
Rah. Breakfast is done. Morning news cram is done. Took my 4 Excedrines and currently chugging Coke. Done. Caught up my work email, checked my calender. Damn meetings. I think today, I will code. I am feeling a little in the mood... I have been considering lots of stuff for both work and home... its just that I am rarely in the mood. I have been cramming for the CISSP lately, and I think that has something to do with it. Well, right now, everything is sucking. Everything. Work, home life, everything. I could drone on and on about how it sucks, or I could just drone on and on about something else. I am defaulting to creative mode, because thats what happens when I don't have a common outlet for this crap. It pretty well goes like this: Work hardly sucks, so I made that my passion and my life, and I put everything into it... like a tortise coming out of his shell, I branch out a little bit... work on the social life, or the love life, or anything else... I get involved and then something happens, and I say, \"life is sucking, time for work!!!\"... but lately, its not been that way, because, work is sucking.. some say its burn out, more or less, its just frustration. To add to it, the truck issue is not fun, and the love life... well, what love life? Alot of life is a juggling act... we juggle things from one to the other... work sucks, we lean on our significant other, when they suck (in the bad way), we lean on work... Humans, aren't truly independent. We have to be \"into\" something... Some of us develop a goal... \"I want to do everything myself\" or \"I want to be king!\" and others are just happy surviving... it all depends on where you put your focus... I am a mix of the two: I have goals, but I am into things. I try to be diverse. I am not so old and crabby that I won't be with someone. Likewise, because I am into things, I wouldnt want to be with them all the time... I would still need to work, and get away. I am not dependent. Moral support, from a female that understands... would be nice. Actually, I am not sure that anyone truly understands.. and then when I think that, I think maybe I don't truly understand myself... I do understand me. Unfortunately, unless I develop a nice case of schizophrania, I am going to be tackling all these feelings by myself. To do that, I keep a private journal... I spare people from that. I am not a self conscious person, but I still keep it encrypted and on my person. Kinda funny. Anyways, so random thoughts for the day: I am probably going to be revamping the rants page... I didn't want to stray from the format, because I like it, and thats what matters, but maybe the evil black background is getting to me? I don't know.. maybe its time for a change.. Something a little less depressive.. The hardest part for me, is I have been using this for several years now.. The format has been the same.. and now to contemplate change.. its freaky! I mean, some people change blog types every 2 weeks, and their thoughts are often lost in the transition... I couldn't deal with that.. I actually go back and read this crap. It helps me with self analysis, but more so, it reminds me of how far I have traveled. In 4 more years, I will look back on this entry here, and think the same thing. Its weird. I dunno. Maybe I will make some changes soon... we will see. Until then, be safe, and uhhh, RTFM.
Peace.
Well... what has been going on with me? Hell if I know. Everything is spinning. I've been working and living, and too much of one and not enough of the other. Today is my birthday (well for another 50 minutes). I am 27 years old. 3 years close to 30. Damn. It has been a real shitty month for me... work
is up and down, and my truck is wrecked. I have posted pictures of the wreck... I was doing the speed limit, and a dude came behind me and ran into me. My truck is in the shop, I have no transportation save for the motorcycle, and it's been really cold. I rode home in freezing rain the other day.. it sucked. I bought a PS2, and some games, and wireless controllers. I play alot of Socom II.. some of my friends at work play it... they invited me into their clan, and its called TKE. I've been playing about a week and getting better at it... one side note about the wireless controllers... they totally rock. When I need to compute and play at the same time, I fire up the TV tuner on wintermute (tvtime rocks my xfree!!) and I can still play and do whatever I need. Socom
II is rather addicting... It is helping with getting me away from things. My birthday has went okay, I am still alive... DataShark picked me up for work, and we talked, and my father called... I was happy to hear from him. I got into work, and dealt with some things, and tried to talk to the insurance companies.. the person who hit me has a crappy insurance company, they are not calling back, and I need a rental. Bastards. My mom called me and wished me a happy birthday, and it was nice. Various friends from the net remembered, and harrassed me. Many props to them.. After work, DataShark picked me up, and we went to Dennys. We had some food, and met up with Data's wife at Bestbuy. They bought some things, and I perused the PS2 games.. there was a cute chick at the cell phone thing, and I talked to her for a while until DataShark came back in to get me... He dropped me off at the house, and I played PS2.. I decided to write something.. and now here I am. I feel really drained atm, and my neck has been sore. Tomorrow is Friday, I have no idea what I will do, no vehicle kinda limits things. I guess I will probably sit at home and play PS2 or rebuild the mud box. It is back up, after some chassis swaps, but I really need to port it back to linux. I recently went to Maryland and defied myself.. I worked 31 hours straight doing what I do best... building linux things.. I am not sure if I can publically say anything about it, so I won't but... lets say that even though I didn't get to see hardly any sights, I enjoy a challenge. I accomplished my mission and took pictures of the Washington Monument as I drove the rental by it... I spent my last 20 bucks in cash (acquired from the nice people in the office, because of a mishap with the hotel, my plastic and murphys law) on sushi in Washington/Reagan airport. It was an interesting trip. I have this whole master plan for security in my head.. and I fear that I will never ever see it to fruitation.. Ever just wish to create? I do.. and security it something that I seem to just do.. and I have these ideas and plans and they work, but it seems as of late, I am not being challenged. Or I am being challenged in a way that is not productive. I can't figure out which.. I need to create. I need to build. I need to make a difference somewhere. I don't think some people understand this, and it hurts. I'm a systems guy, I love Linux, and I love opensource. I love to implement it, and I love to do something with free software that kicks the ass outta anything that costs 20 grand more. I guess I always did root for the underdog, but I have proved that its an effective approach. I realize that with the proper funding, I can build a managed security company that is almost entirely based off of opensource tools and human talent. I know enough bright minds, and have enough ideas, that I could do this prolly in 6 months to a year.
I don't like the biz aspect that much (although, its always nice when people want to talk to you bad enough that they buy you lunch or dinner at nice places). I am decent at procedures, and I am dedicated.. I guess that is why my present company keeps me around. DataShark says that I take my work too seriously... lots of people have told me this, but how else do you take it? Especially security? Working is my hobby, and when I am solving problems, when I am creating, or even on those dreaded 20 hour conference calls, I am in the ZONE. Bring me your crisis. Bring me your DCOM variants, your code reds, your nimdas and sql slammers. Doesn't leave much room for a personal life I guess, but since I don't really have one of those, I guess I'll work. I don't know.. I am tired, not just a fatigue tired, but mentally, very very tired. Today I am 27, but it feels like 50. I look at my team at work, and it makes me happy. They give me a reason to get up, to answer the phone, and to keep it going. Talented bunch of
guys, and they make me proud. I need a vacation. I need to get centered. I need realignment. Magic. I need magic. I guess I will goto bed now, as I am drained... To everyone that sent me their best wishes on this day, thank you... it meant more to me then you will ever know.
Long days.. Yesterday, my day started about 3:30 am... Spent most of the day on conference calls. I stayed home from work in an effort to get my toilet fixed.. it was running and caused an extremely high
water bill. Plumber came in the middle of a conference call, but got the job done. I passed out on the couch about 6 pm, and was woke up about 4 am, because one of my employees called in sick. I just took the 0600 turnover conference call, and now I am in the process of waking up. I had to check the Orkut mail.. Orkut totally owns me.. I just wish all the people that I sent invites to would actually get their invites... I am finding out that the scene here is larger then I once thought.. lots more of cool people here then previously seen... Thats something coming from me, because I am NOT a people person.. hehe.. Anyways, not much going on around here but work. I stayed home last weekend, except for a trip to the pistol range.. I am having a ejection problem with my 9mm.. Smokestacking is what they call it. I'll get it figured out. I got my taxes done yesterday and the bills paid.. Small victories. I always feel better when I get my bills paid. Its strange. Hmmm.. It's going to be a busy week at work again I think.. no immediate plans for this weekend, although I might go out on Friday... Gotta see how I feel. Ahhh well, its time to get this day rolling, gotta jump in the shower and get to work.
I am somewhat rested I think.. still tired though.
4 days left in the week!
Oh, where to start.. I don't know. I haven't been doing much, except working. I wake up in the morning, and I am on a conference call before I get out of bed.. (0600 turnover call) and then I force myself into the shower. I then smoke a 1/4 pack of cigs on the way to work, while fighting traffic and chugging 2-4 redbulls.. and then I walk in, pissed from the traffic, and shaking from the bull.. voicemails and emails galore. I then answer the voicemail, and email, and usually, but not always, theres a meeting of some sort. I take the meeting, call one of my team thats on shift, and smoke a cigerette. I smoke lots of cigerettes. Usually during this time, im trying to figure things out. After some projects, or some manager things, I usually either goto lunch, or smoke more cigerettes. Sometimes, I dont bother with lunch. If I do, I come back, do a meeting, or do projects, or manager stuff. Handle the day to day operations.. and then sometimes its 4:30 or 5.. and so I go home, smoking even more, and fighting traffic. I come home, and get on another conference call.. (the 1800 turnover call).. then I sit here, and stare into the blankness of the Internet.. eventually.. I get tired, and fall asleep. This is my usual day. Someone asked me the other day if I was happy. I don't know. I'm happy when I'm working.. and thats most of the time, but
I get unhappy when I am tired of work, or not working. Ew. SOooooo.. last weekend, I did have some fun. I went to my watering hole down on Greenville, drank some, came home. The next day, I had breakfast with DataShark, and then went to the
cigar shop. I bought a humidor and some cigars. After that, I went to the grocery store. I bought groceries. After that.. I don't really remember. OH yeah, I had dinner at Bahama Breeze. Cuban food. Not bad. Sunday, I went to the range.. and fired my new 9mm pistol. It shot well, but had some feed problems due to a dirty feed ramp. At 21 feet, I put all my rounds (two highcap mags worth, about 15 shots a piece) into the black. Nice groups. I shot my .22 pistol, and it wasnt even funny my groups were so tight. Roadtrip went with me.. we had fun. We came back.. and cleaned guns. I learned how to break down my 9mm. Its a hi-power
copy, so its not too different from a 1911 design.. Sunday went, and I started everything again Monday. Am I happy? I don't know. I feel that there is a great change coming, but I don't know what. I don't get scared very often, but lately.. well, I get those feelings of FUD. I hate that. Fortunately, work has been busy, Mydoom really sucks. I don't like SCO, but I feel the best way to break SCO is to break Darl.. with a 2x4.. repeatedly. Am I happy? I still do not know.
Words of wisdom? I have none kids, you are on your own this go around. I'm tired, and not just I worked today I'm tired.. but I'm tired. Longterm type of tired. I don't think a vacation will cure this one.. Well, maybe it would if I would actually take one.. I need to find magic again.
Erm. Yeah, whatever. It's New Years. I worked today, couldn't concentrate.. I have had this damn flu for a week now.. its pretty bad. Between the coughing and the headaches.. it hasnt been fun. I went over to DataShark's and saw him, his family, pr00f and Lohki. It was fun. We played cards and took pictures. Phemetrix was there too.. he has been staying at my place while he is on leave from the miltary. After a while there, I decided to goto the bar.. so off to the Rose I went.. and met up with Roadtrip, SuperDave and Roadie's cousin... we drank and watched a situation unfold. It was actually quite uneventful. I came home, and my mom called. Sooooo.. I was thumbing through some yahoo profiles and I noticed that someone had a link to something or whatever.. poetry. I'm bored so I click it.. and this person had a picture of ME on their site. Actually, several pictures. He is telling everyone that those pictures are him. I am pretty sure its a parody thing, put on by one of the local dallas people.. but its kinda disturbing to see someone use your picture. And this dude didn't just confine his antics to one site.. oh noooooooooo. He left a MASSIVE footprint on the net. Posting shit everywhere with pictures of ME. Its funny, but scary all the same. Anyways, I am tired, and my head is pounding.. happy holidays all, im out.
Hi. Yah yah, I haven't posted in a while. I have been busy. Work, has kept me slammed. I am now 8-5 Monday-Friday, managing my own team of security guys, and it takes alot of time and energy to keep doing the right thing. I worked on Thanksgiving with my team (I bought all of us dinner at Boston Market) . This year, I am going back to Oklahoma for a few days for Christmas, and it will be the first time in a long time that I won't be working the holiday season. I really, really *HATE* December. It just makes me depressed. I did attend
not one, but TWO christmas parties this year.. and
I wore a suit even.. Actually, I have been wearing
suit stuff more often now.. I guess it's kinda expected of me.. I am not a suit guy.. You may notice more pictures up on the site now.. I am now taking pictures of EVERYTHING... my friends hate it. hehee.. Well, they are all I got down here in Dallas, so what the hell. Bar hopping, christmas parties, dinners out.. even work.. I'll photograph it all. I hate this depression shit.. I feel like working even when I am off.. and the only thing that really keeps from doing so, is either I am tired, or I am so frazzled that it wouldnt do any good. I have been playing alot of guitar, and I have released a album and video.. the album is kinda weak on the audio.. so you would have to turn up your sound to full blast to hear it.. sorry about that.. but it came out okay! I am pleased about that. Let's see.. this weekend, I partied.. I went down to the San Francisco Rose on
Greenville, and closed the bar out.. left there, and went someplace I prolly shouldnt, and crashed a party. I guess I am good at that.. hmmm, what else.. oh, not a damn thing else. I am currently doing laundry and preparing for the next two days.. it's going to be hell. I have to report in the morning meeting tomorrow, and I have meetings scheduled, and then the Oklahoma trip. I am kinda looking forward to the trip.. I am getting a new Fender Telecaster for Christmas! My mom rocks. I couldn't think of anything I really wanted.. I guess what I want more then anything is something that I will never have. Ahh well, life sucks and then you die. I will try to blog before this month is out.. and yes, my New Years is COMPLETELY open.
HEH.
Hi. I had a okay day today, I guess. I slept in, got up and played computer for a bit. Haven't been feeling that well as of late, but I am getting along. I took a long bath, and took the motorcycle down to Dallas. I met some of my friends at Dave and Busters, for Roadtrip's 25th birthday. We played most of the games, and won these little rubber fish things. They look like the OpenBSD blowfish.. kinda cool. We went from there to the Rose down on Greenville, and had some food and some beer. I should'nt have drank, cause now I feel like crap. Ugh. There were some hot women at that place, all college chicks.. but I got the feeling that none of them really think. Kinda like a herd... I dunno. We left the Rose, and went back to Edf's apartment, where edf and roadtrip had a argument.. was kinda interesting. After that, I came back to Grapevine, and now here I sit. I took pictures of tonight's events, and they are posted. Wheeeeee. Oh.. I have two projects going on at the moment (non work projects!)... I am working to rid the computing world of binary. Its been half a century, guys! Can't we express ourselves in something else other then base 2? I have some ideas on how to communicate via frequency other then 1/0, but I am not sure if a VFO will be able to hold up... Anyways.. I am just trying to take a very different approach to processing, and I am kinda sludging through some theory.. The second project I am working on, is a book. I have started writing seriously again, and I am on chapter 3 of a fiction piece, that is sure to be pretty dark. It deals with the illumnati, the government, and the rights that American's enjoy... It's slow going, as I am having to do some research on a few things, but I am hoping to have it ready for editing by March at the earliest, September 2004 at the latest. I write for fun, so I can take my time... So, I guess that is my entry for the day, my head hurts and I feel like crap. I am going to bed.. oh yeah, Gator.com's software is SPYWARE! SPYWARE! SPYWARE!!!! Nyah.
Oh where to start? I really can't remember much of the last month. I have mostly been working, and playing paintball. Paintball is very fun, and a great way to work off the stress. I was very sore after my first game, but I am starting to condition to all the duckwalking and running. I bought a Tippmann A5, and it performs very well. I have also been playing Starwars Galaxies, and sleeping. I bought a new digital camera, the 2 megapixel Casio EX-S20U. It's very small, and not a bad camera for 250 bucks. You should start to see more pictures on the site, as the cradle works
under linux as a USB mass storage device (camera takes security digital memory cards). Oh, I am proud to say that pr00f will be working for me, and I am very excited. I think I just might have created one of the most elite security teams that this industry has seen. I have 4 full-timers, and Roadtrip, who is my backup. My boss seems to be psyched and very pleased at my picks, so things should go well. I am pretty tough on my team, and I think if we do not kill each other, in 1 years time they will be damned elite. It really is exciting to be able to handpick your team, and watch them grow. Our team as a whole (server side guys included) is my family. They are kinda iffy about me taking so many pictures (I love the new cam) but I am not sure they have realized why yet... I don't do anything but work, and I don't exactly have a family of my own save for the few in Oklahoma.. these guys are all I got cept for a few friends outside of work. Speaking of my extended family, DataShark has decided that he is going to start flying. I think thats very cool, but its defintely a task to undertake. I hope he sticks with it, because it would be mad fun to go flying with him. And of course, OmegaOne has been doing some flying of his own.. without the plane. Yes, he bails out of airplanes. So I can just see this situation happening.. The 3 of us take off, and we are flying around Dallas, checking out the lakes and stuff, and all of a sudden, OmegaOne screams and bails out. Hehehe.. Let's see, what else goin on.. OH! I am sick of spam! I have decided to move to a whitelist. If you are not on my whitelist, shoot me a email, and I will add you. I still get mail, its just dumped to a folder called spam.. of all things. I don't check it that often, but I do check it. I am thinking about writing a little php form so people can add thierselves to the list. Hmmmm. Anyways, I am scatterbrained, and my nerves are pretty shot, I haven't been sleeping well, and I have been getting nausous kind of sick. I am going to go. Hopefully, I will post with a better frequency.. it's hard to stick to things sometimes..
Hi. Lot's of things happening since last post. Most of which I cannot really remember. Must learn to post with more frequency. I replaced my aquarium yesterday. It looks sweet. Parts and all was about 250 bucks. I needed a new tank, heater and gravel. I also purchased some cory catfish, and some plants. Took me about 3 hours to break down the old tank, clean everything, and build the new one. I had forgotten just how nice a clean tank feels... It really makes the apartment happy.
I have cleaned on the place somewhat, and I even got a dresser from DataShark. Over 3 and a half years, and I have not had a dresser.. I really am a minimalist sometimes.. just as long as my hardware is up to date. =) I have another doctor's appointment on Thursday... maybe I will get some things fixed. I must say.. I really don't want to leave my house at all since I got it picked up, and feeling nice. Paradise is where you build it.
I am coming up on the end of summer, and I am behind on my projects.. I want to go skydiving and I want to get my eyes fixed. Fear the laser. It's time to start thinking a little bit more about my health... while I am not converting to a total freak, and I refuse to quit smoking.. I should eat better and get some items fixed. Soon.. I think I will get it all handled.. This winter's project will be a new motorcycle. Prices will be cheap, and I will have a tradein and downpayment.. it's nice to have goals. Work has been going well.. I am a little frustrated at a couple of things, but everything is moving along quite nicely. All in all, I am pretty damned happy. Content... Its time to have fun, and work hard. 2nd day of the month, and I have already paid all my first of the month bills, and the laundry is done. I feel better when everything is in order.. soooo.. life is great.
I must go now, and pick up some new bedsheets, and a shower curtain.. and some other stuff. Be well all.
Well.. This week has been crazy. So far, I have worked a total of 40 hours. 24 hours straight on Monday, 14 hours on Tuesday, and at least 2 hours today. The blaster worm really stinks. Lesson to the kiddies: firewalls are not effective. Old news to lots of us, but corporations still depend solely on their firewalls and routers to provide filtering. What happens when you allow unfiltered dial-in or vpn? Hmmm? Anyways, I am really tired. I have been getting sleep, but I am still sick. It feels like someone has hit me over the head with a 2x4. I can't keep thoughts, my mind wanders. My right shoulder hurts, my ankles and knees hurt, and my fingers and wrists are numb. I'm losing my mind. The doctors office told me the blood results would take one week, and canceled my appointment. They do not seem to really care that I do not feel
well. I am getting to the point that I think I am
just going to be like this for a while. I really hope not, its affecting my work, its affecting my entire life. I have never had a problem keeping thought threads together, but at this point, its a lot of work to write this rant. I think im going to go. Bye.
Ugh. Still sick. I don't know if I am getting worse or better. My fingers are numb, my back tingles, my ankles and knees hurt. I am very very tired. blah.
Hopefully, my blood tests will come back tomorrow and all of this will fixable. I have tried to remain active as much as I can today. I started the day off by consulting with one of my friends on his college project. He is doing some linux/wireless madness with the Grapevine fire department. Pretty cool stuff. We had breakfast at Dennys and talked about different ways to implement stuff. I played computer for some part of the day, and then thought I would do laundry and clean. I hooked my lappy up to the sound system, thinking some fuller type of sound was in order. I have a Sony tuner, hooked up to some crap speakers. Well, the speakers were blown. I decided to take my laundry to the laundrymat and buy new speakers. I went to radio shack and purchased some 100-200 watt RCA speakers, 3 ways. 12 inch wolfer.
Not bad. I came back, and met one of my neighbors who is just moving in. I dropped one of my speakers. Talked to the neighbor some more, and then went inside and hooked everything up. By the time that was done, it was time to change the laundry. I came back, and picked up the house, took out some trash, and ran the vacuum. House looks a little better now. I went and got the laundry, and came back and folded. Now I sit here, in front of the machines, tired as hell. Roadtrip is coming over with his lappy, so I can maybe find a problem he is having with his ethernet. Speaking of ethernet, I am doing a really cool thing with my lappy. Since I bought new speakers, I have run a cat5 drop from my switch to the entertainment center. I use Samba to export mp3s to my lappy, and then I export xmms from the lappy back to my workstation. I can now control the tunes remotely, and the sound is very full, due to the tuner and new speakers. I think soon, I will build a dedicated fileserver, and integrate it with entertainment center, as moving my lappy around will be a pain. Of course, the lappy has tv out, which makes things kinda nice. I can control all of it remotely from my desk. Being sick really bites, but at least I can think of cool things to get my mind off it.
Hi. It's been a while since last rant. This one will probably be a short one, since I am kinda scatter-brained at the moment. We went to Defcon 11, it was fun. I got sick. I don't know whats wrong, so I went to the doctor. Doctor took blood, and will let me know next week. I have a follow-up appointed next week as well. They don't know. I am tired. Very , very tired. I get sleep, and wake up
drained. My knees hurt. My mind is shot. As I sit here right now, my fingers don't even want to type. I am drinking a coke. Maybe it will pick me up. I can honestly say for the first time in a long time, that I am a little disturbed by this sudden event. I've been sick alot in my youth, and I was never really that bothered by the thought of
never recovering. Survived rheumatic fever, and some other stuff.. never really realized how bad things were, even in the hospital. Lately, I have been realizing, I have alot of fight for on this earth, alot of things to lose. Lots of friends, good job, and a future. My mom is excellent, and even my dad gives a shit when its really really important. Kinda puts it all into perspective. I don't like doctors. I only go when its bad, and right now, I am wondering just how bad it all is.
Being tired really really sucks, even after you have slept 10 hours. At least work is going well. I finally have a complete security operations team, and I have confidence that we are going to do the right thing and kick butt. Very pleased with the new hires, and look forward to challenging them. Roadtrip has been extremely supportive, and I could ask for no better partner in crime. He handled my affairs while I was away at DC, and I had not one worry. Back to the DC thing, I had a okay time. I saw everyone that I wanted to see, and met a few new people that are really awesome. I think this weekend is going to be a lazy one for me, I just don't feel well. I am going to stick at home, and play computer. I slapped a Athlon xp 2500 into Neuromancer.. For the first time since 1996, my windows box is faster then my primary linux box. Has to be, for Star Wars Galaxies! hehee.. anyways, until next post, remember: life sucks and then you die. Enjoy the sucking. Peace.
Hi. I'm really tired. I have had a couple busy weeks. First of the news.. I sold the Porsche. It was hard, but I think its time for something new to play with, and really, who needs 3 vehicles? Okay, thats my justification, I miss my car. heheh.. I have been playing Star Wars Galaxies now since the production release.. I must say I am addicted. I love star wars! Oh.. Edfgreen and Gridmark will be joining the Dallas crew, as they are now employed as security analysts. That is really cool. It's been a experience for me, as they are both super intelligent. They are young however, and it takes me back to when I was 20, and lacking.. maturity. Both will make fine analysts, and as long as they work hard, they will go far. I believe in them. Other news.. I leave for Defcon on Wednesday morning. Going to be in Vegas until next week. It's going to be cool to see all my friends, and party down. I don't party much, and while this is a working vacation, it's still a vacation. I hope to meet new people, even though I am not good with people, and have lots of fun. This will be my forth trip, and we are going out a day before the con, to get the gambling out of the way.. well most of the gambling. I usually win enough to keep me going all weekend, and cover the expenses.. neat! Blackjack is my game. I will be staying in the Luxor the first night, and then the Alexus.. I have never stayed in the Luxor, one of the few keen places that I haven't ever stayed.. should be a experience. Plus, I am traveling with DataShark and OmegaOne, and this other cool dude named Richard.. Lunacy is sure to follow.. I couldn't ask for better travel companions, as it will be non-stop comedy the entire flight, and then some. We have all earned a nice break from the Dallas scene, so crazy isn't even going to come close to describing our trip. Oh.. LoU is releasing version 13 of Keen Veracity this week. I have to put 3 articles in, and then hand it over to Phriction, who will do the rest. My articles are over Security In A Hurry, My Laws of Information, and the issue's 30 second scripting solution. The Security In a Hurry is a document for people shoved into the role of corporate security.. I have probably written better, but its a quick and dirty guide of what to expect.. Yes, I have experienced it. The scripting solution is a backup script I wrote that utilizes Samba.. another quick and dirty hack that works like a charm. Work has been uber stimulating as of late.. I have taken on some cool projects, and I am transitioning into the role of lead security analyst.. My review stated that I have been doing it for 8 months anyway.. but now, I am being leaned on to \"Do the Right Thing\" and drive my area to the next level. This is the kind of stuff I like. I love being able to mold, craft and create.. building something into a success is what really motivates me. Its funny though.. its hard to see how anything at any company ever gets done. The politics, the infighting, its like high school sometimes.. I was never great at high school, but I guess I am doing okay in the Corporate environment. I would be happiest if I could just build and create, and not have any negative resistence. I don't mind positive resistence.. I like being put on the spot sometimes, and I like having my world \"attacked\" sometimes.. the best procedures, plans, and processes always survive audit, and I am only human. I need other input, and even when someone is trying to sink my projects, I will do my best to weather it out, and improve. If I can weather it out, then the process is hardened, much like if you were to pen-test a server.. A little pressure goes a long way. A lot of people don't realize that about me I guess.. They will say something negative, and try to tear me down.. I will get frustrated, and come back 10 fold, and be stronger then before. I will keep doing that, and eventually, I will be what the gods classify as \"uber\". hehehe, that was a joke, but really, pressure me. Torment me. Make me improve. Use personal attacks to my logic, and my logic will win everytime. Fight dirty. I like it like that. =) Anyways.. I have been thinking positive for some time, and it really helps. I start to slip (who doesn't) but then I get that jolt that I need, and I continue on. I like to win. Hehe.. I need to shut my rant mode off.. I am so tired, I am just dumping the inner monologue.. well the decent parts anyways.. =) With that said, I guess I better get to sleep. For those of you that can't make it to Las Vegas this year, I will defintely miss you, and you all know who you are. For those of you that I haven't met, I look forward to the pleasure, and for those of you that are going.. Thursday we will all be on Vegas time.
The words of wisdom have already been spoken for this submission.. so I leave you now. Happy trails to all, and be cool to each other. It might just earn you a drink in Vegas. =)
Well.. I stayed out too late last night. I haven't slept. Trying to keep my schedule in sync... I will be crashing pretty soon.. Not much is going on.. I built a web portal for myself.. Just stuff that I use alot, all in a single page. pr00f says it is ugly, but I like it.. It's been a decent day all in all, aside from being tired. Worked on the portal, and spent most of the day on the phone.. talked to pr00f for a while and then I talked to xtal from sweeden. She is awesome! I talked to a couple coworkers about work stuff, and now I am exhausted.. I don't think I will be talking to anyone on the phone for the rest of the day.. I have tons of work to do tomorrow, and lots of email to catch up on. Fortunately, I only work 2 days this week.. all I need to do is get in there and get it done. Hmmm.. I really need to re-record the guitar stuff, but my fingers are all stiff and I doubt it would come out right.. oh well.. I'll save that for another time. Ahh, I am gonna go, I require sleep and my brain is no longer functioning.
Ahh. Lazy day. Slept til noon. Didn't care. Played America's Army
for most of the day, and then went out to Tia's with DataShark.
We had some food. I haven't been doing much of anything...
Played some more America's Army and strummed around
on the guitar.. Not much else going on. Counting down the
days until Defcon. My vacation.. sad to say. I need out of this
burg.. I still feel like I am missing something.. not as much..
but I am missing something. Hopefully that feeling will go away.
Maybe I will think of something neater to say later.
Today was a interesting day, to say the least. I cruised into
work, was somewhat productive for the first part of the day.
Had a meeting at 10 am, and it went well. Had lunch with
Roadtrip. We went to the Gengis Grill. I had never been
there before.. cool place. Not many people, and hell, stir fry
is always good. I spent most of the day kinda upset, as I
realize working days is a major change for me. I am not a
people person, and it is tough learning to interact with some
people, that would probably rather not interact with me. I
question life, and it brings answers. Well kind of. My ex-fiance
called and asked me if I wanted to go out to play pool. I did.
I worked the rest of the day, or attempted to work, I think the
earlier mornings thinkings, coupled with a social outing with
her.. well, put me in a frame of mind that is not usually like
me... Fear, anticipation, paranoia, confusion, loss for words..
happens even to me. I came home, and played some
America's Army, always good to frag out.. Anyways, that
time rolled around, and we went out with her roommate.
Played some pool at the main event. That place has changed
and I don't really miss it, but it was good for the outing, as
the pool tables are nice. We talked. Like humans. I always
asked myself the question, if I ever could have a conversation
again. If I could ever forget. Yes to the conversation, no
to the forget. Things have indeed worked out for our individule
lives.. I am most grateful for all of that. The big question that
most would ask.. Do I still love her? Yes. I always will. In a
sense, its almost like reliving it all, and breaking up all over
again. Like replaying a bad take in a B rated straight to
video movie. We talked. We conversed, we understood.
It all came back to me, from a repressed hell that is part of
myself. Memories, of our very first pool game, in Philly.
My ego grating on her, and her total tough attitude intriguing
me. My mind wandered, both to the past, and the future that
we had to give up to keep from literally killing each other.
I said I would always love her, and I stand behind that. She is
going to do well, and that is the best. Incidentally, strangely
enough, today is our engagement aniversary. This was not
intended, but I think somehow it worked that way, cause of
the birth of DataShark's daughter (who is 3 today, Happy Birthday!)
Interesting how it all comes out, but in a sense I feel that
some demons have been excercized. I might actually be
able to sleep a little better. I do not sleep well at present, nor
have I been able to sleep soundly for a long time. About the
only time that I can sleep soundly, is in my bed in oklahoma.
That is home, always will be, and I do miss it. Like stated
in a earlier rant, we came here looking for our future. We got
something totally different, but in many ways, could be better.
Continuing on with this little life bit.. It was time for her to go,
and we walked out and hugged. She went her way, and I came
home.. I got lost in my own thoughts on the way home and
almost got creamed by a truck. I was on the motorcycle.
Damn yield signs. Thats okay though. It was the perfect
explanation for the moment. What do you do? Do you stay
and linger and get hit, or do you gas the bike, and haul balls
onward. I hauled balls, no doubt to the displeasure and
relief to the driver. He probably cussed me for not yielding
and then relieved when I hit the gas to avoid being his
hood ornament. Thats what pressing onward is about though..
a little displeasure and a whole lot of relief. I did not decide to
dally around either. I punched it. Story of my life. I punched
it after Kris, thinking I would never look back for the truck,
and hell, I did, and its not bad. I have my friend back, and
while we had our issues, she could also be one of the most level
headed people that I ever talked to. At this moment, I don't
know whether to go get some beer, or just chill. I think I am
going to chill. I am taking a day off from work tomorrow..
Going to do some analysis from home, and think. Working
from home is fitting right now, and if push comes to shove,
I have like 150+ hours of sick time. I need a mental health
day, even if I am still going to be watching the IDS and
reading the advisories.. Tis good though, cause I get GOOD
coffee, and the ablity to smoke cigerettes on the job.. and
hell, I can blast my mp3s as loud as I want. and noone will
bitch about me riding in the service elevator. Or using the
IP spreadsheet. Oh, in other news, DataShark has FINALLY
gotten our tickets for Defcon. We are flying in July 30th.
If anyone wants to hook up and have a party.. well, I will be
there with some of my very best friends. We will be hax0ring
and drinking.. some gambling.. and more hax0ring. Its almost
a working vacation for me.. lots of people to meet, and lots
of ideas to exchange. CTF this year is sure to be a blast.
Digital Revelation.. LOOK OUT! hehehe.. Anyways.. I'm
going to chill for a bit. I need to unwind. Peace.
Wow. Days are weird. I don't think I have been up this much
during the sunlight hours in a long time. Its very different.
I slept in today.. got up and reheated some pizza. Played
some america's army, made some calls. Checked my
work email and my home email.. Not much going on really..
Finally got stir crazy, packed up the acoustic guitar, and
jumped on the motorcycle. Drove to the lake, picked a nice
uninhabited spot, and played guitar for a while. Came back,
dropped off the guitar and went out riding. Drove around for a
bit, and stopped at arbys for some dinner.. Arby's manager
has a sweet bike. Came home, ate the arbys, and argued with
pnts about crispers and how they dont work. They don't! All
my veggies always go soggy. Now, I am kinda sleepy,
but I am gonna goto dallas. Weather is nice, so I'll take the
bike. Tommarrow, the agenda is to get a haircut and hit
work for a couple hours, as I have a meeting. Anyways..
Still alive, daylight hasnt combusted me yet. Hehehe..
Until next time.. peace out.
It's been a pretty decent day. I got up to find my windows
box dead. Drive failure. I replaced the drive, and reinstalled.
Smaller drive, but oh well. DataShark came over, and we
went to autozone and sonic for some food. He engineered
a temporary solution to his cooling issue on his car. I continued
to work on the windows box after he left, and then I took the
motorcycle out for a ride. Drove around the lake, and the
new construction close to my house.. sped down 114 for
a while, and then took a spin around the mall. Came back,
and installed some more stuff on the windows box, had some
coffee. I was watching some history channel show about
godfathers when I was called by my hottie friend in the air force.
She totally rocks, and is mad intelligent. I guess I might
be taking a roadtrip in two weeks to go hang out. So, now..
I am listening to tunes, and installing some more stuff on the
windows box. It's running pretty smooth. I wonder how long
that will last.. I gotta get some sleep soon, so I think I will
go out on the porch and play some acoustic guitar and
enjoy the sunset.. whats left of it.. I have work at 0600 tomorrow.
Its going to be weird working during the day.. kinda feels like
my first day of school, or even starting a new job.. Which I
am kinda.. I look forward to it, hopefully I will be able to get
some stuff done. Anyways, until next time, be well!
Hmmm. It's saturday night. What am I doing? Not a damn thing.
I have been trying to relax. I start working days next week.
This will be interesting. I spent last night working on the
network, and alot of today.. Everything on my home net should
be working well. Roadtrip came over, so we went to grab
some food, and then to buy some clothes. Met up with
DataShark and OmegaOne at Frys. Roadtrip spent money.
After that, we all met up at my place, where DataShark's car
promptly blew up. Actually, he has some coolant issues.
I grabbed my pistol, and we all went to basspro, so we could
shoot on the range. I had a blast. I put a few in the center at
70 feet.. Also fired Data's springfield loaded. I am not sure
if I am gonna buy a .45.. its kinda difficult for me to get on
top of it.. well, I am not used to it, never had a .45 when I was
growing up.. I might go with a .357 instead.. anyways..
we had fun. Left there.. came back to my place, and I let
DataShark take the porsche. He looks kinda humorous
driving it.. After everyone left, I cleaned my pistol, and
started playing around with wintermute.. I upgraded mozilla,
and then java quit working. I upgraded java, and that didnt
work. Come to find out, mozilla is compiled with gcc3.2 and
the deb of blackdown java is compiled with gcc2.5 - BAH!
Oh.. I am slowly getting over my burnt out streak.. I can
think again.. I built a new firewall for my net the otherday..
getting ready to build another for a friend. Oh.. yes.. 2.4.21 is
out, so every linux box on my net is now upgraded. Neat, eh?
I'm doing okay tonight.. a little tired.. and actually, kinda
lonely, but not too lonely, but kinda wondering what I *could*
be doing right now. I dunno. I am happy though.. I have
to resist the urge to goto work.. Its tough, I am burned out
a little on work, and yet, I end up trying to go there on my days
off. Defintely need a vacation, cant wait til Defcon. Hmm..
I think I am gonna make some coffee, and maybe some chicken
broth or something. Until next time, be well.
Well.. I think I am burnt. I haven't felt mentally right for the
last couple of weeks. I am not depressed, not happy nor sad..
I just can't focus or think. I took Sunday night off work, didn't
feel well at all.. Roadtrip came over, and we ended up cleaning
out my front closet and utility room. We found lots of treasure.
I also found some memories. Some of my ex's stuff was in
the utility room. I hadn't have seen her in almost 2 years..
I tossed out alot of junk, kept her stuff, and emailed her. Still
alive and in the area, she and a mutual friend came over and
got the stuff. Caught up on some times, it was awkward, but
it went okay. My ex is doing well, got her stuff together, and
I am proud. I think I have been haunted since the day we broke
up (october 1st, 2001) but I have done what I always do: fight
through it, and put it behind me. Perhaps there was some
residule that needed more closure, or perhaps I in fact recognize
some part of myself that is not a complete ass. I don't know.
I have been in love with alot of women, but that solid state of love
the kind of love that makes you willing to live or die for the
other person.. I have not felt for many. Her, I did, and some
part of me remembers. Wounds may heal, but there is always
a little scar. In this case, this scar built character for us both.
We didn't turn out that bad. When we moved to Dallas, we came
here with the full intention of taking life by the ears, and making
it work for us. Conquer it, be together, love each other, and be
happy. It didn't turn out that way, but I have been doing well
for some time, and she always had a little catching up to do..
We simply were not properly matched at that point, different
stages of life, and it conflicted us. In the end, I see that it worked
out. She is fine, I am fine, and at least I know there is no ill
will on my part. I do not feel mad, angry, or anything.. more
retrospective. We accomplished our goal in the end I guess,
it just took us taking seperate paths. Life works itself out.
Maybe that is what love is, to still give a damn, even after
a harsh ending. Yes, believe it or not, I do give a damn, and
it has taken up until this day to recognize that fact. I think
I may have found some peace in this, as I always felt a
little responsible for some of the shit that happened. Granted,
not a guilt per se, but more of a damn, I really influenced this
situation and look where it went. Well, its done now. Everyone
made it okay, and life goes on. This brings me more joy
then I can put into words. Things work out in the end, maybe
not the way you intend, maybe with some pain, but I can rest
easy knowing she isn't having to live in a crate and eating
from a dumpster, and I think I will rest easy knowing she
is doing okay. As for me, I have life by the ears. It doesnt
always go the way I want, but I have learned some freaking
adaptability. I will perhaps take a ride out on the motorcycle
tonight, after some coffee and a couple smokes.. I will
think about these thoughts, perhaps even remember all
the good times, and know, there are more good times ahead.
I love life, even though it hurts, even though it baffles me,
but I think I finally might have found some peace in knowing
it all works out in the end.
Hi. I'm tired. I'm burnt out. I'm blah. I worked the last couple
days. Not much going on, just trying to BigGeezer up to
speed. He is coming along nicely. I dont know why, I have
been really really tired lately. I am getting sleep, although
I must admit, I could be sleeping better. Nothing at all has
been going on.. Went to Oklahoma last week? Saw my
mom, and some friends.. got some tomato plants and a
shotgun. Tomato plants died first day I put them on the patio.
I have a black thumb. I am watering them every other day,
inside the house. I have sprouts. Hopefully they will go
ahead and pull through.. Oh well. I fell into peer pressure,
and bought the retail of Eve: Second Genesis. It's fun.
Passes the time. Thats pretty much what I am doing right
now. Playing Eve, fighting sleep. I don't want to sleep..
seems like I sleep alot, but I dont get any rest. Odd as that
sounds. Ah well. I don't have any words of wisdom today.
Go forth and find your own, when you do, let me know.
Peace.
Hi! Just thought I should update.. Not much going on, it has
been a busy few weeks around here.. Let's see, starting a
few weeks back: I went to a Sourcefire shindig in Dallas.
Got to see their product demo'd. That was pretty neat. I locked
my keys in my truck, and had to break into it. Total overall
time was about 45 minutes.. but after I had the right tool..
3 minutes. Feh... Lets see.. did some work, time goes on.. lala..
I cleaned house.. its dirty again.. I saw the Matrix Reloaded..
good flick.. lala.. hmmm. I upgraded my network, and a couple
machines. Everything is running properly. I have updated
a few things on the site here.. Oh yah, I am addicted to the
history channel now. What else.. Nothing really to rant about,
nor anything interesting happening. Just work and sleep, and
computer stuff. I guess I will goto sleep or something now.
Maybe something interesting will pop up this weekend.
Later.
Ahhh. I have had a good weekend. I have spent most of the
weekend hiding. What have I been doing? Oh, a little shopping,
a little sleepin, and who knows what else.. I bought a new
guitar (an acoustic) for lake visits and stuff.. and I bought a
new amplifier for my electric.. The amp is a Marshall. I am
very pleased with it. It sounds great. Just like my guitar, it
plays better then I do. Its fun though, I really enjoy it. I just
went and slapped down 200 bucks on groceries, defintely
needed some stuff around here.. Poor Poe needed food!
Now with a full stomach and a cigerette smoked, I am going
to clean the house.. It really needs it. I will actually run the
VACUUM. Yaaaaaaar. I love having the weekends off.. I wish
it was like this every week. Tonight, I will play some computer,
and maybe take the motorcycle out for a ride, if it doesnt
rain. Tommarrow, back to work - ugh. I have scripts to write
at work, now that I have upgraded the entire Snort infrastructure...
Ugh,, now I am thinking of work! Time to go clean. Fear.
Wahhhhhhhhh. Its almost go-home time. I could really use the 3
days off too. I am just tired. Ready to go! Whats on the agenda
this weekend? Well.. some movies, maybe a trip to the always
fun firstsaturday sale.. (if you dont know what this is, think
street market with computer hardware) and uhh, who knows?
I had some fun tonight at work... one of my cables died for
a piece of production equipment. We ran new cable.. had to
work around 4 rows of cabinets, and pull hella tile. DataShark
calls me in the middle of it, (get your ticket for movie or it will
be sold out!!!) I am however not that dramatic. I'll get it. I busted
out like 18 analysis things on traffic.. and uhh.. slow night.
I was just reading a thing on William Gibson and his blogging..
He was saying something that blogging may interfere with his
writing.. I can kinda see that, but it doesn't affect me much. It
has only taken me up until a few months ago to accept a rant
as a blog... the name just seems too catchy and mainstream.
I dunno.. maybe that is just me. Anyways.. I do not run out of
ideas even when I may write them here. Maybe it's my frequency
of post, or something.. Hell if I know. I don't really see a need
to constantly comment on the news.. opinions are like assholes..
etc.. everyone is doing it.. besides, I have a seperate section
for the really assinine stuff.. I think mostly, I see the rant/blog as
a place to try and sort out my inner monologue and maybe dig
up something that wouldn't come up otherwise.. I have been
pretty effective and finding new thoughts while writing here...
I also find ideas in the shower. Actually, lots of ideas flow in the
shower, and I find that odd, but also perfectly natural. Oh, I did
have a thought the other day.. about the Matrix... When they
load all that useful shit into their head.. I kinda see that loading
protocol/device/communication as Google. When I don't know
something, or when someone is like \"I'mmmmmmm stuck!\" and
if _I_ am stuck.. well, its just like, gimme a second. In 5 minutes,
I usually have the answer, and now we have both learned. I could
really see a neural interface, optical overlay, wireless type system
that would let you do this.. close your eyes, think Google, and
think about your search query.. and instantly you get data on it.
Since it is a neural interface.. parsing that should be quick and
painless.. although the humor starting out with be priceless...
\"I keep searching for stuff while thinking about sex, and these
damn popups keep appearing in my head!\" Yah.. pretty freaking
scary. It would be highly useful. Maybe that other 90 percent
of the brain we don't use is for cybernectic integration? We can't
consciously tap it, but with the right gear, we possibly could,
and maybe that is all part of our evolution. I'm all for the marriage
between silicon and organics.. If it allows me to create new things
to benefit humanity.. then ROCK OUT!!! Seriously. Plus, playing
cards would be cool if you could pull a rainman like stunt without
being a complete vegatable. Hmm.. anyways.. if you couldn't
tell, some of my direction in life is kinda research into the mind,
more to the point of creating a computer based on it.. Someday
I am going to get some heavy hardware hackers together with
some brain techs and see what the hell we can come up with...
Moore's law, my ass... ahahhaah. Anyways, its almost time
to give the morning report and be gone with myself. Remember
my children... when hacking your mind, be sure that you always
have a known good backup.. peace out, and to quote my very
favorite author.. My ass outta here!
Long weekends bite. Day 1 of 3 is complete. I am tired, but
I don't feel like sleeping. I hate it when that happens. Anyways,
it's one of those days. I called my Dad.. it is his birthday, and
I tend not to forget these things.. So I called. Nothing else
going on but work. I need to take a break. I can't. It's okay
though. I can take it. I really don't have much to say. I just
felt like writing about nothing, which I guess is what these
rants are about. haha. Poe keeps messing with me.. getting
on the server table.. She _knows_ she is not spose to get
on the servers.. but yes, she does. Sometimes I think she
likes to push me around. Anyways, I'm gonna smoke a cig
and goto bed. 2 more days.
Wow. Do you ever feel like you could be doing more? Or
like you are here to do something, but you aren't doing it...
I do.. alot.. It's weird.. I feel that I am supposed to be coming
up with some innovative ideas about something, and somehow
I feel like I am running in place.. Hell if I know what this feeling
means.. I guess that is why I work alot.. hmmm.. lately work
has been kinda bland.. all of this stuff I have done, and
somehow I am not satisfied.. I don't feel like I am getting anywhere..
I don't know.. I am not bored, but I would like to see progress.
Someone presents a project, I whip out a project plan, and its
like... stall. I *HATE* stalling. Let's get it done people!!! Damn.
Anyways, I made the mistake of ridiing the motorcycle in
last night (it is fixed btw, cept I need a new seat now) and
the wind really picked up.. so I left early. I rode home, it
started to rain, and it was really windy. Roadtrip came over
and we talked alot about work.. work work work. Anyways,
I have been drinking this morning.. and I am coming to
this thought that I am here to do SOMETHING, and while
I am.. I am not doing anything truly impressive. I need more.
I need to be stimulated, to be pushed, to be driven to do
something totally excellent.. but damned if I know what that
is. I am a human, I have a mind, the most powerful computer
ever created, and all I do is sift packets all damn day. I wish
I had paid more attention in high school, not worked as much..
Still searching for that original thought I guess. Who knows.
I was looking though my weblogs while ago.. It's weird. People
come to this site, and read and look at the pictures.. and I have
absolutely no idea how they got here.. It's extremely cool,
but hey! if you are here, just out of the blue, drop me an email.
Tell me what you are after, how you got here.. who knows! I
might be able to help you out. I am always up for a good
project.. or just a nice engineering problem. I might be
slightly weird, but that might be a plus! And speaking of
things that sound like work, I must go. Time to sleep.
Remember this: your mind is the most powerful computer
on earth. Use it. Find your purpose. Whether its sending
stuff into space, or just engineering a new manufacturing
process.. engineering is good! Use that brain! Hack something!
Oh.. on another thought.. someone told me tonight they were
upset with the computer security industry.. they had reverted
back to \"blackhat\" status. Let me tell you this: all of the most
impressive computer hacks are dead. They are gone. It's
no longer fun. Who cares what Joe Admin does. You want
impressive, then hack light speed. Hack a quantum computer.
Do SOMETHING like that. That is impressive. Don't just
content with breaking stuff. Learn to create. And with that,
I am done. Spent. Out of it. You be good, and I will rant later!
Good morning. Or if you are digi, it is good evening. My
nocturnal ways tend to suck sometimes. I had Monday
and Tuesday off work, after working 49 hours over the
course of 3 days. First of the month business is mostly
taken care of, and I have this weekend off. I dunno what
I am going to do.. maybe I will hit some clubs or something.
I haven't been out and about in a long time, and I am starting
to feel that urge. Some music, something intoxicating, and
maybe some pool. Yea.. who knows.. Ah, I gotta call the
motorcycle shop today, I haven't heard about my parts yet..
or when I can take my ride in. Hopefully this week sometime,
would be nice to have a repaired bike by this weekend.
Damn tags and inspection are due this month too. Feh.
I think work might be sucking my brains away! I don't have
anything neat to say.. yet had this weird urge to rant. Over
the course of the last two days, I have pretty well vegged out.
It's been great.. I have been playing some Forgotten Battles
(WW2 fighter sim) and some Mechwarrior 4. In the interim,
I have been crashing on the couch and the floor with the
laptop. Surf here, read there, hax0r there. ya know.. I have
finally become totally immune to the news. I have two
TV's going constantly, each with a different news station ...
(CNN/MSNBC, one on wintermute's tv tuner, and the other
on the actual tv.. I knew it was good for something)... Yes,
I still stand behind my statement that TV rots your brain. It
does! Although, I have been watching some Buffy the Vampire
slayer.. weird for me or not.. well, hot chicks with knives..
fear that. Oh yeah, I have started up my webcam again,
I guess I will let it run for a while. I promise to try and not
pick my various orifices while on it.. Damn.. Oh yah. my
mom called the other day. Apperently, she has decided
to purchase a John Deere tractor. Yaaaaaar! It took 26
years for her to do it, and now its done. No more carrying
those large round bales of hay on her back... Just kidding!
My mom is cool, but she isn't she-ra! hahaha.. Anyways..
what else has been going on... no new thoughts on the
information flow, shape of the net, or information attributes..
although, I might require a lengthy shower to get back into
that groove... I did have a nice conversation with Lucina
this morning on the phone.. It's been ages since I last spoke
with her, and I was starting to worry.. anyways, somehow
we were talking about CB and ham radios, and I just realized
that radio people are cooler then internet people. I can
talk instantly with anyone in any country on the net, while on
the radio, it takes alot of work to reach far off lands.. People
on the net tend to be asses, and people on the radio are nice.
They want to talk to you.. Conclusion? Again, we take technology
for granted.. before the net, the only ways you talked to far
off lands was either by phone (if they have phones) or
by an ham radio. Interesting. Yes, at 26 years old, I might
just launch into a \"when I was your age I walked through
the snow, uphill both ways, 25 miles\" speech.. hmmm, but
its sooooooo true! Anyways.. I guess I am gonna stop
ranting about nothing.. It looks like another beautiful day
in Grapevine, Texas. I must be sure to sleep through it
so I can be on my game at work tonight. Until next rant...
Wheeeeeeee! Whats up with my life lately? Work! Work! Work! I
don't know if I am gaining any new ground, but it does seem like
I have been working more lately. It's been okay. If this is what it
takes to win the game of life, well, here I am. I am about to take
on a new protege at work. Its kinda exciting, because I have
watched Roadtrip become the analyst he is, and I am very proud.
I'd like to think maybe I had something to do with it, but ya know,
I think the analyst was always there, it was more a chipping away
to bring it out. I think maybe I have found another person like that.
I am beginning to think maybe my purpose here on this lump of
rock called Earth.. is to act as a catalyst of sorts. I usually don't
meet people unless there is something they have to solve.. but
maybe its not about the problem solving. Its about being a catalyst.
Push into the right direction. I dunno. I am becoming content in
that role.. actually, I am at peace. Work might get me down from
time to time, but work is my life. I will be a success, and I will
see my team become a success. Oh, even the motivated,driven,
centered people have to eat crow sometimes.. After a multitude
of years, I finally got 0wned. Yes, thats right! pr00f and DataShark
0wned up wintermute with a ptrace exploit. Wouldn't have happned
if they hadnt had accounts, but what can I say? I knew it exploitable,
and was in Oklahoma at the time.. it was rather funny. Nothing
like a good kernel exploit! What else has been going on? I had a
strange dream last night.. (this morning? Hell, last time I slept)...
I dreamt that I was at my moms house, before the house was
remodeled.. and there were noises. I asked my mom about the
noises, and she didnt know.. So she watched from the window,
and I went outside, pistol in hand.. and there was a scream. It
was some girl, floating around.. I seem to remember that I knew
her, and she was dead, but I cant remember the face, or the name..
Anyways, she fllew into the house, and had conversations with
my mother and me, and I was asking her about death, what it
was like, and how was she doing anyways? It was weird.. about
the time I was going to get the answers, my boss called. Another
day awakens. Hmmm.. So I am here working.. OH OH! I ordered
the parts to get my motorcycle serviced for the summer..
1 battery, 1 speedo cable, 1 clutch rebuild and 1 front tire. Work
will commence at the suzuki shop as soon as the parts get in!
Bike should be good for summer! I have already been riding it,
it has been fun. Oh.. and for some pesky reason, I have had
the feeling to get back into amatuer radio. After 2 frys, 1 ultimate
electronics, and 6 radio shacks, I have replaced my 2 meter rig.
That's right, a 2 meter rig. I bought a antenna, transceiver,
and power supply. The antenna sucked, so I built a 1/4 wave
ground plane out of a SO-239 connector, and some clothes
hangers. It keys up the Dallas repeater at 146.88!!! From Grapevine!
wh00t! I bet most people didn't know I had my amatuers license...
yep. Been a technician since 1996! It's fun, but I still cannot figure
out what has called me back to it. hehehe, I am sure the
answer will come. Ah well.. I guess I better post this rant and
get out of here.. I need a smoke, and I still have traffic analysis
to perform. I am working another 7 days, so maybe next week
I will get a chance to do some cool stuff like redesign my home
network and uhhh, play mechwarrior 4! Oh, and goto the
range! Anyways, I hope you get more sleep then I do, I'll rant again
sometime.. In the interest of public sanity.. do not READ the
manual, WRITE the manual. Hack something! Peace!
Ahhh.. I love having the weekend off. So far, it's been a great
weekend. Friday night, I went to see the Dallas Stars play,
from the luxury of a Admiral suite!!! I went with some friends
from work, it was certainly an experience. Today, I woke up
around 7am or so, and went with DataShark to a gun show.
I bought another gun, a .22 pistol.. yaaaaaar. I got some
other stuff.. We had dinner at Data's house, his wife made
some pot roast.. and then we went to the range. Yaaaaar!
I have had a full day.. so I am about to sleep.. Tommarrow,
I think I will take the RC car out, and I have to do laundry
as well.. Good weekend.
Erm.
Wow. I think Roadtrip was able to help me express my life
in a nutshell, using work terms. The system of digi, has been
migrated to a more secluded datacenter, to have a dump, after
which, he will be IPL'd, for approx 5-6 hours, after which,
the system of Digi will be migrated back to a more populated
datacenter, to assist in computation for another 14 hours,
after which he will be migrated again, to have another dump,
and IPL... The only difference is, unlike a IBM s390, I do not
cost alot of money... erm. I had a very productive night
at work.. 14 hours today, and another 14 hours right after
some sleep. Damn meetings, has to be done, but makes
for a long day. I did get alot of accomplished though, and
for that, I am happy. I am off work this weekend, hopefully
it will warm up and I will be able to play outside.. I am now
off to bed, rant later.
Ah. Very tired. My schedule utterly bites. I am finding in my
old age (26 now) that I am just not able to be as nocturnal
as I once was.. It's weird. Well.. I woke up at 9pm Monday
evening, stayed up and played IL2 with rivver.. I am learning
to fly combat sims! I have never really had the patience for
them, but flying sorties with rivver is quite fun. I have some
impressive crashes. I bought a Saitek x45 joystick setup
for the purpose, and it performed quite well. I played until
5 am, and then I tried to sleep, to no avail. I stayed awake,
and paid a couple more bills, took a shower, and went out
to wash the truck. It was dirty from the all the snow/ice/crap
that I have had to drive through. I had my tire remounted
the other day, and the oil changed, and now its back to 100%
operational status. A disturbing thing happened today..
while I was getting my haircut, I noticed grey hairs. Bah.
My family on my mom's side goes grey very early, and I
think now I may not be any different. Soooo.. after all of the
daily business, I came home, and worked on the RC car. It's
no where close to being right. It runs, but I think I have some
other issues to address with it. I slept for a bit after messing
with the car, and woke up... had steak for dinner. It was
tasty. I watched some tv, which is a weird thing for me,
because I actually watched. Of course, the TV tuner in my
computer never budges from CNN, but tonight, I actually
sat in a chair, and watched things that kill brain cells. CNN
has become rather redundent. War this, war that. I haven't
really ranted about it yet. What do I think about it? I support
my president. Simple as that. I don't always agree with the
government, but I do believe they wouldn't commit resources
of this magnitude without a damn good reason. The logistics
alone is quite staggering.. 70000 bodybags? Damn. I see all
of these protesters doing stupid things (human shields, fuck em)
and it disturbs me. We have troops defending this country
for these people to have the right to be jackasses. It's one
thing to disagree, but another thing entirely to try and obstruct.
These people are obstructing. They say its about the oil.
Sure it is, its about protecting interests, and resources. The
US certainly does not need it, but Europe does, so do alot of
other countries. If someone was to render that area inhospitable...
well, guess what happens to the world? Again, the US is
playing watchdog for a bunch of people (most of the world it seems)
that would take us for granted. Fine. And what about the
weapons? Chemical, biological, nuclear? Iraq has had
these things, where are they now? Anyone that protests our
actions, has never seen any information on VX gas. Personally,
I think there are alot better ways to die. And whats up with
North Korea? Damn! Talk about posturing. I think their
head guy has a little more insecurities with himself besides
his height. Talk about nutcase. I have friends that could
end up in Korea, and truthfully, I fear that more then Iraq,
simply because the terrain is a nightmare, and the North Korean
ethics of war. Toss Geneva right out the window. Seriously.
The only thing I have really had a problem with so far, is
this country's reaction to the terrorism stuff. We are going
under lockdown, all this new legislation, new departments,
new procedures, etc. It's madness. We have already altered
our lives so much now, its wrong. The terrorists accomplished
their mission. They have incited terror, and now people
are believing that duct tape and plastic sheeting will save them.
Personally, I think I might stock up on some MRE's and some
.223 ammo, and just be mindful of world events. I ain't scared,
but if the shit hits the fan in the metro, my ass outta here.
Back to the country, to a place that is barely on the map.
Better then widespread panic. I guess alot of my fallout plan
would depend on the status of my employment too. Regardless
of what happens in the world, holidays, weather, etc.. network
security still needs to be performed, meaning that as long
as my company is able to perform their business, and as long
as packets travel down the wire, someone will have to be
there to analyze. Cyberthreat! My job is pretty much my life,
and while there are aspects that I am not too fond of.. it is
stimulating. To people out there that love a mental challenge..
this is what I am faced with on a average workday. 1. see packets
2. see possible alert. 3. see raw traffic. 4. see why this is
happening... its great on paper.. but sometimes its a real
pain in the rear, with network changes, clients that have
zillions of customers and employees that do things, and well..
nothing promotes migraine like trying to figure out what
2 different sides are trying to do across the wire. Speaking of
which.. I have determined the best way to make any information
useless, is to provide that information in a sea of false positives..
I believe this will be Digi's Second Law of information.... The
idea is this. Say you wish to search for information on a person
on the internet. You goto Google. Your mark is John Smith..
searching for his name is not enough. Search for John Smith,
you may get millions of them. Finding yours will be a bitch.
Information saturation hampers delivery of requested data.
This is also the case with intrusion detection. If I was truly
wishing to escape IDS, I would perform my attack during a
outage window where machines are going down, where
signatures are being updated, things are being tweaked.. or
I would time my attack with a world event.. Case in point..
SQL Slammer. Response teams everywhere had their
hands full dealing with that one event. If I was looking to
break some heavy ice, without detection.. the best time for
me to do that, would be during a crisis like that. Chances are,
my probes would go unnoticed until it was too late. Couple
that tactic with environment reconstruction, and SUPER SLOW
probing.. you slip by with ease. Patience and skill, with a bit
of luck.. Thankfully that most of the younger generation
that has talent in this field are lacking funds to do penetration
the right way.. for me, if I really wanted to break something,
I would just construct a testbed, and configure it as closely
as I could to the target.. I would base that off banner grabs
and scans.. It wouldnt be perfect by anymeans, but raises
the possibility of breach by a good margin.. There are some
younger pups out there, with triple the knowledge, and
100 times the motivation and boredom.. if they had real
equipment and experience.. look out. *grin* keeps us old *cough*
guys on our toes! So back to Digi's 2nd law of information..
Digi's 2nd Law of Information
When seeking information of any type, your efforts will be
hampered, stalled or thwarted by information saturation.
Example:
The best way to hide a needle, is to toss it in the haystack.
Hmm.. well.. hell. I am tired, and I have no idea what
provoke all of this ranting.. I have two 14 hour workdays
tommarrow and the nextday.. I am not as motivated as
I usually am.. time for a vacation.. feh.. so I guess I will
try to get a early start on motivating myself.. and that means
sleep. It hurts when I get tired now! Thats my life though,
and anything worth having, is worth a little pain. I will leave
you with these thoughts: support your country. Someday,
it may come down to a revolution, but I do not think it will
be in my lifetime, your lifetime, or our great-great-great
grandkids lifetimes. It seems hazy now, but believe in yourself,
and above all, believe in survival. You have the tools for
conquering situations, and sometimes you just have to
press on. No good worrying about things. Support your
president (if you live in the US).. EVEN IF you disagree.
If someone really wanted to change the system, they would
run for office and get a taste of it for theirselves. Just
remember, we have people out there ready to die for our
right to bitch. And if you think its anything close to bad here,
you haven't ever been anywhere else. Unfortunately, neither
have I.. but I have talked to lots of people from these countries,
at great length. Thats the beauty of the internet.. and you
can talk to them first hand, and get the full side of the
story.. and please. No freaking cyberwarfare.. Take it from
a older fart that learned the hardway.. all you will do is
get heat on you for something that in the end, may hurt things
rather then help you.. And if you are serious about performing
such activity.. ask yourself this: are you prepared to die for
what you are doing? If yes is the answer, and you are
American.. we have a very fine military that can always
use a extra hand or two.. Anyways, thats my wisdom for
the night, you guys and gals have a good one, my ass is
outta here! Love you moms, go outside, and don't bother
with the manual... just hack it! Peace!
Oh gee. How you all doin? I'm okay, I guess. A little restless,
a little bitchy, and well.. 1 year older. It's my freaking birthday.
I am 26 now. Its been a crappy week so far.. well, I went
to Oklahoma to see my mother, and I almost got stuck there.
1 foot of snow.. was a crappy drive back to Texas. Then,
it decided to ice over here in Dallas metro.. I slid back and
forth to work. This morning, on the way home, I slid into a
curb at my apartment complex.. deflating my from right
tire. On my truck. I spent a hour changing it. It was cold.
I was not amused. I am very tired, and I need sleep. I thought
I would rant first. Let's see, what has happened in my world
since last post.. hmmm.. Been working alot. Lots of people
have died. Nib from #legions passed away.. he was a youngin.
First time I have ever had a user of my network die on me.
My great grandmother died the other day too. She was 95.
She was ready to go. I didn't make it to the funeral. Probably
for the best, I don't like funerals. I got my nitro car fixed, but
it has been too cold to drive it. I am not fond of ice and snow.
I like warm weather. Poe is doing her best to be annoying
this morning. I played with her, and she sneezed on me.
Feh. Hmmm.. what else... I got a new lappy. Toshiba 2415.
Its sweet. 2 ghz, 256 megs of ram, dvd/cdrw, 16 meg nvidia,
40 gig drive. I immediately wiped it. I am now dual booting it,
Debian Sid on one side, and Windows 2000 on the other. My
only complaint was the packaging of the software of the
thing.. they don't exactly give you real installation cd's..
instead, they give you these lame recovery cd's. The original
OS was Windows XP.. who really gives a damn anyway? XP
is so full of spyware, that I wouldnt want to run it if m$ paid me.
Anyways.. my lappy is 98 percent functional in both OS's..
I just need to set up my burner under linux.. and then all
good. I am playing dvd's with Ogle, in Linux.. and it works
well. Thanks to pr00f for turning me onto Ogle. Hmmm, what
else has been going on? Not much else. Tonight might be
a drunk night. A rare thing for me, but sounds good. I'll
probably feel different after sleep. Oh well, until next
post, try to be nice to each other, eat your veggies, squeeze
your charmin, and hack something! Peace.
Okay. This sucks. I am tired, but not tired. I only THOUGHT
I was gonna goto sleep. Nope! Here I am. I have been in a
serious kind of writing mood, but with the attention span of
a emu.. I can't get anything out. I had to goto work last night
for some productivity training or something.. we made these
paper airplanes.. I had to cut out for a while to attend to a
work matter of a different sort.. clients are scared of \"cyber-attack\"..
That is funny, because I think back to a few years ago.. well..
I won't get into it, but yea, sure! Cyberattack is a valid concern..
Anyways.. let's see. I blew up my Nitro TC3 RC car yesterday.
It was just a bad day in general. I have today off, I will probably
catch some sleep, I have gradually been working on the
network here at tha house. I have multihomed wintermute
to the backend subnet, and have opened up some Samba
shares.. its great to be able to stream media to a laptop with
wireless.. You can watch things from the bathroom!!!! Works
well with windows or linux! Fear! Oh yah.. I guess I will
mention my birthday.. it is the 26th.. I will be 26. I am 4 years
away from my proposed retire date, and it isnt going to happen.
Damn. Some dreams don't come true. Oh well, work has been
kinda stimulating, I have some big projects in the works..
As far as fulltime home stimulation.. I would love to get back
into my writing groove.. its almost upon me. I don't think I
will turn out a book though.. I have some pretty crazy ideas
boiling though.. who knows? Hmmm.. what else is going on..
Not much. I am pretty bummed about the TC3.. its going to
cost like 300 to get it back into shape. I was hoping to
race soon too.. oh well.. good excuse to upgrade! What
can ya do? Life throws you a lemon, you throw it back.
HEH! So I guess I will terminate this rant session, and
go find something stimulating on the net.. Until next update,
peace out, love each other (I personally dont like valentines day)
and uhhhh.. hack something! Erm.. go outside too! Hack something
outside! (fear wireless once again).
Hi. Its 12:42 am, Monday morning. I am at work. I am bored stiff.
I have worked all weekend, and I am ready to get the heck out
of here.. Not much has really been going on in my world... I
got a call the other morning, when I had gone to bed. It was
DataShark calling to tell me that they had lost Shuttle Columbia..
Tragic. I got out of bed and turned on the TV, to the one station
that it picks up (I don't watch tv very often) and there it was.
Falling over my city. Chunks of shit falling of it. It stirred something
in me to see it... something about my generation, growing up
when the shuttle program was pretty new, and then seeing
Challenger.. and now Columbia. I remember also, discussing this
very type of thing, at US Space Camp.. in my younger days of
course. I am now alot more cynical,I wasn't back then because I
was a kid... we had asked why the crew compartment didnt come
off, why it wasnt fully tiled, why couldnt we put springs or
boosters, or anything to seperate the compartment from the
rest of the shuttle in case of castastrophe? We even drew pictures,
because in 8th grade.. well, you draw alot of pictures. We were
humored, and sent on to the next class. My point to this..
is if 8th graders can see the problems of the current orbiter
system, why can't NASA, or better yet, the people that fund
NASA? I would probably give my first born to work on
problems like this at NASA, and here these guys are, lost in the
dream.. lack of funding, too much politics, etc. And not to
mention the lack of balls! Afraid to piss anyone off, afraid of the
image.. Well, NASA was backed into a hole this time, because we
are using 20 year old orbiters. 20 year old orbiters is what we
know, its whats tested, and it will cost too much time and
money to build anything else, except a giant space station that
we know can be built. We know humans can live on it. Humans
can adapt to almost any environment after a while, why do
we need to continue on this path? We need to be focusing on
better propulsion systems, better landing systems, better take off
systems and we need to grow some major balls. Space flight
is dangerous. The 7 astronauts on the Columbia knew the risks,
and were willing to take it. Sad as it is, those 7 lives may have
just breathed new life into NASA, because now they will get
the funding. They will get the attention to the petty politics.
Now, its going to be up to NASA to put up or shut up, to
remember what put them there in the first place. Love of
engineering, love of space, and love of the unknown. I ask
of NASA to not use this event to pussify itself even more, but
to draw strenght from it, and become MORE aggressive.
We should shake down our remaining 3 orbiters, correct the
tile problem, and LAUNCH again. Not 2 years after, but 1-3
months. The astronauts know the risks, and are willing, regardless
of the worst case scenarios. They are willing to give their lives
to advance science, and humanity. We should honor that.
More random thoughts flowing in my head about the shuttle..
have we not come up with a better heat dissipation system,
other then tiles that STICK on? Tiles were innovative in 1978,
but come on! There has to be a better way to withstand heat,
that we can protect an entire shuttle in. Another random thought..
Here is a possible way Columbia could have went.. At 200,000
feet, there is a problem, the wings are burning up, the autopilot
is correcting the descent.. at this point, the commander has
lost major insturmentation. He should have been able to hit
a switch, and popped the crew compartment away from the
midsection and tail section - yes, they were going fast, but
bear with me for a second here.. The crew compartment
is kinda shaped like the old capsules... now the switch has been
hit, charges blow the compartment away from the rest of the
ship, and a small burst of some form of propulsion gets it
away. If the Crew compartment is fully tiled, then it SHOULD
disperse heat somewhat, maybe enough to where the crew
doesnt cook alive. Now we keep a cargo parachute in the nose,
that opens at a certain altitude. I am not sure, but I think this
should correct the descent, not too sure how that part would
work.. but bear with me, this is a harebrained scheme :P now
say the chute opens, corrects the fall, now we are gliding back
to earth, rather then ripping apart in a ball of fire. If it could
be made to work.. it would be better then losing an entire
crew and shuttle. Anyways.. where was I? Oh, ranting about
the shuttle.. Sad sad sad.. :( I kinda got lost in my thoughts..
Oh, on a happier note, work is going good. Catching alot of
intrusion attempts, and have been finding security holes, and
pushing for fixes. Fun stuff after things get fixed. We have
been preparing for the Capture the Flag contest at Defcon..
DataShark, Pr00f and myself are NETWORK NITRO! rar!
http://www.networknitro.com - hehehehe.. great stuff. We are
going to win CTF at the next Defcon. That is our goal. Speaking
of nitro.. the weather is getting warmer, so I will be able to
run my nitro powered RC car.. YARRRRRRR! It was warm this
weekend, but with work.. well, all I do is sleep and work..
soooooooo I am looking forward to a couple days off. Warm
weather.. drive the RC car, maybe fire up the motorcycle, and
maybe take the rifle to the range. Yarrrrrrr! I start to feel
better when I think of warm weather.. =) So.. lets see, nothing
else much to say. Oh yah, people are corrupt assholes.. for
trying to profit off the Columbia disaster. Good thing everyone
isn't like that, or we would have no astronauts. I think thats
about all I have to say.. I need a smoke now. Until next time,
be excellent to each other, look to the stars, and respect the
ones that do the jobs that push us to a new frontier, no matter
what frontier that is, peace!
Wh00t. Survived Christmas and New Year. I took off for
Christmas, and struggled through the drive to Oklahoma.
Stopped at the texas-oklahoma state line and slept at a rest
area. I had been up over 24 hours. Sleep bites sometime.
I made it up to Oklahoma, did the gift thing with my mother
(I got her a PS2 and some games) and then I came back a
couple days later. Slept. New Years was uneventful, as I
worked. Not a big deal really, its hard for me to drink anything
worthwhile anymore with my liver and kidneys protesting.
Work has been going good. I am starting to get back into the
\"zone\" and I believe it is going to be fun again. I had an excellent
night at work tonight, and I am hoping the rest of the weekend
follows suit. This might be a great year. I still cannot believe
its now 2003... It seems like only yesterday that I was skateboarding
around, and partying out, just trying to survive my youth, and
now here I am, constantly thinking about work and life, and
how to be excellent at it all. I miss the 80s. Nothing much
has really been going on around here.. Phemetrix came
back from basic training, a lean mean fighting machine. It is
pretty damn sobering when he looks at me and tells me that
he will be lucky to be alive within the year, and he accepts
it. Part of me looks at the world events, and starts to believe
that he could be right. At any rate, the Army has done wonders
for him, he has finally found something that he truly enjoys,
and the changes in him are quite positive. I guess in the grand
scheme of things, its best to die happy and with honor, rather
then in misery. Much respect to that man, he pulled off something
that I honestly did not believe that he would do, and is excelling
at it. Balls. Hmm, in other news, Rivver believe that he is still
dying, or something.. I believe he is just old and crabby.. I bought
him a Lego set for Christmas. It was the funniest thing, old
curmudgeon is going to play with Legos! hehehehe. Oh,
DataShark and OmegaOne are still doing the nitro RC car
gig in a big way. They both bought TC3s kinda like mine (they
bought the kit, mine is the RTR version).. I think they are going
to have faster cars then me.. and damn DataShark for getting
me into this hobby! It's addicting! It's not cheap either... breakage
happens all the time. It is FUN though. That is important in life..
have fun.. both of those guys work pretty damn hard, and
its good to see them having fun. I had an awesome conversation
with OmegaOne the other night about a game he wants to write...
it will be cool if he does it. Look out ID software! Oh, speaking
of writing things.. .I have been coding my ass off on my mud.
I have added tons of new skills.. and STDs to curb all the
mudsex that always goes on. Oh, dont look at me like that,
they are cureable with a shot to the stomach.. oOOoooOO
just got a new idea for a added effect.. it would be cool to
have them drool like rabid dogs! hehe.. rock! Check out the
mud's home page at http://www.legions.org/ngo/ hmmmm
what else has been going on.. I saw a falling star on my way
home this morning.. I tried to wish, but I really couldn't. It was
tough. I think I have hit a place where I am content.. Oh yah,
don't get me wrong, there's stuff that I would like to do or see,
or achieve, but with time and work.. it will all work out. Soooo...
I wished happiness and stuff to all my friends and family.
Oh yah.. Poe the Evil Kitty says hi. We have a game that we
play.. kinda against my will. She seems to think that torturing
the blinds in order to get my attention, is fun. So she grabs
a blind, and sticks her head through it, and then looks at me.
I leave them kinda open as it is! So... I tell her to stoppit, and
so she comes over to my computer area, and meows at me.
I then proceed to hit her over the head with a cardboard roll..
the kind that wrapping paper comes on. She loves it! She
wrestles around with the roll and then finally goes to pass
out. I swear my cat is psychotic sometimes.. she doesn't
stop bugging me until I wrestle with her. My child. hehee..
Hmmm, I took a few pictures of her and Phemetrix which
are posted under the pictures section. Let's see.. what else..
things on my agenda.. I need to write a couple of proposals
for work, and a book on network intrusion analysis. I am
kinda looking forward it, and kinda not. I already have one
book at my company, on Linux.. so it will be cool to get
another posted out there. I think thats pretty well it for my rant,
I am kinda tired, so I need one last smoke, and a sleep.
I hope everyone has as good of a time as I am having.. I will
try to rant some more in a couple of weeks. Peace!
Erm. No rants for awhile. Well.. I don't know what to say.
Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I don't need to rant.. well, I don't
need to rant very much today.. just kinda bored at work. I am
almost done reading \"Network Intrusion Detection - An Analysts
Handbook\" - It's okay.. but it seems kinda part like a advertisement.
I have found a couple tidbits of knowledge in there.. I think. I am
on chapter 12 now.. my brain has just wandered. Latest happenings...
hmmm.. Thanksgiving went okay. I went to Oklahoma, saw my mom,
and my aunts.. had some food. Walked around Wal-Mart.. nothing
cool there. Since then, I have walked around Grapevine mills. Nothing
keen there. I walked around the Dallas Galleria. Nothing cool there
but a life sized c3p0 and Yoda. Nothing cool this year really. Speaking
of Star Wars.. I have been coding on my mud alot lately.. you might
check out the webpage and see if its something you might like to play:
http://www.legions.org/ngo/ - check out the forums and such.. nifty.
Hmmmm.. I have recently gotten into the hobby of Nitro powered
Radio Controlled cars. It's fun. I have since broken a wheel, a shock tower
assembly and I *OBLITERATED* DataShark's mini z car. Well..
he was in the way.... RC cars is fun. I highly suggest it to anyone
wishing to get away from the norm, get outside, and maybe
even use some mechanical knowledge. Remember.. 3 things to
make a engine run.. fire, fuel and compression. It works in this field
too.. =) What else.. We got flatscreens at my work today. Xfree looks
sweet on a Compaq 17 inch flatscreen. I have been tweaking Snort
configurations most of the night, and reading... I can't help but
drool over the crispness of the displays. Oh yah.. I got all my
christmas shopping done, cept for 1 person. I spent WAYYYYYYY
too much money. Oh well. Thats why I got a job. I am not really
that hip on christmas, but my friends and family are.. So why not
try to indulge them? My mother has came out like a bandit this
year; her gifts would make anyone drool. I am especially going
to like presenting Rivver with his gift.... should provide many
laughs for years to come. HAHA. I did all of my shopping at
Frys, so.. no one should be bitching about gifts. hehe. hmmmm,
what else has been going on? I got my shifts switched at work.
So now I am on \"Delta\" shift. I think they call it Delta. I am
still on nights.. thats all I know. I am actually tired of nights.
Its hard to get face time with people. Facetime is much needed
to propel projects.. I dont exactly like people, but I do like having
a completed project list that is approximately 1 mile long. All of
the things in my head are major items, and would change security
and this company. Hard to get things done when everyone is
sleeping. And during the day.. I am sleeping. So I might get called
by work when I am sleeping and be expected to have some kind
of answer.. which I don't mind as much, but if I worked during the
day, I would already be there! hmmm.. *growl* Also, telephone
solicitors call me when I am sleeping. It sucks. Anways.. I am
feeling the need for a smoke.. I guess I will go smoke a cig and
then come back and give myself a frontal labotomy. Have a
happy holiday, love each other, and be excellent. Oh, btw, I am
dedicating this rant to DJ-Fyber.. he was this dude who hung
in #legions.. well... he kinda died. Its really sad that someone so
excellent could bite it, but thats part of life. So, moral of the story:
it's christmas, while I hate christmas, it does give a good reason
to be nice to each other, and put everything in perspective..
because you never know when you or someone you love is going
to bite it. Peace.
It's at this point that I start to scream. When
you come to realize that things hardly ever go
quite like you anticipate. For once, why couldn't
things go somewhat smoothly? Logic, is no help.
Logic is not a true substitute. I wish it were.
It would make life a whole hellava lot easier.
All I know is, my entire life is always on
eternal hold, and it seems that nothing ever
truly gets done, or fully enjoyed. The endless
repetition of getting up, going to work, coming
home to a empty home, hurts. Hurts in places that
I didnt think I had nerves. One minute, you logically
state, okay, things are gonna be bumpy, I can deal
with that.. and then the next minute, you almost
want to double over with pain, of never really
knowing how something is going to turn out, until
it does or doesnt. That's the cold stab of life,
but frankly, it's getting to be quite tiring. I
have deep feelings for things that I care passionately
for.. enough that I would consider a total change of
lifestyle.. isn't that silly? Maybe that is because
my current lifestyle has totally dramatic ups and
downs and never seems to level off. Its always
one extreme or another, much like binary itself.
I know in my heart the way things are supposed to
be.. yet its that endless patience ya gotta have
that totally takes the fight out of you. I realized
the other day, that I have been through some
major stuff. I also realized that it didn't kill me,
it didn't take away my drive to live or to be a
success. If anything, it may have thrown a little
fuel on the fire. The latest events of my life
however, are putting me to the test. I am no
good at human interactions. I am not sure if
I ever will be. I understand this. It's almost
like some kind of sick joke. hehehe.. at any
rate, I am surviving. The only alternative is
death, and that would be no fun. Well, I dont know
but I dont believe it would be. So I guess that is
out of the picture. I just have to accept that
everything is screwed and go on until it gets
unscrewed. Easier said then done. I often wonder
if the phrase, \"its better to burn out then to fade
away\" is true. Is it better going off a cliff at
110 mph, or living until you are 90, and dying of
some kind of tissue rot, or bedsores, or not knowing
who the hell you are. Hmmm.. interesting thought
I guess. At least interesting to me. Anyways...
latest events! The Porsche is fully operational
and legal. It drives well. I almost wrecked it
the other day on I-35. I am not sure how I survived
without a scratch on the car, but I did. I am
convinced that something else was at work. Who knows.
Oh yah, my father is being a ass. One of the
things I have noted to my younger friends is this:
when you get to a certain age, and you make your
own way in the world, and you live a good distance
from asshole family... it no longer matters. In
the end, they will need you more then you need
them. Again, another sick joke. It all comes out
in the wash though. My mother, however, is awesome.
She is learning to play the fiddle, so she I get
to listen to her whenever I call back home. Oh yah,
for some of you internet local people, talked to
Phemetrix the other day on the phone, and he
is totally love basic training. He sounds like
a kid at summer camp. I hope he has made the right
decision for himself, but by talking to him, I think
he has, no matter how world affairs turn out. Let's
see. Oh yah, I am canceling the holidays again
this year. So everyone needs to act like they
don't exist. I could write a dark metaphoric
piece on why holidays suck, but I don't think
anyone would want to be around me after that...
Oh wait.. nevermind. Ah, I just don't feel like
writing as of late. I have had some people
request that I finish the sci-fi piece I was
working on - \"Dude, chapter 1 isnt a whole book\"
and a few have requested more stories like Pain
and The Dark. Well, when I get back into the
writing groove, I guess we could see a few more
of those, cause thats exactly how I feel at this
point. Hopefully it will pass. I am content
otherwise. I am just missing. It sucks.
Oh well. For every down, there is a up.
I think thats all I am going to write now. I am
very tired, and I have to work today.
Be good, hug your moms and be inventive and creative -
hack something!
Hi! I've been busy. Tired, stressed, missing a
certain somebody, and hey! thats just life! Yes,
at work, I am writing procedures for security
operations, and at home, I have been sleeping. Oh
yes, my friends here have been getting me into
shooting, and we have taken another trip to the
range. It was funnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Ah, and I should
be getting my porsche out of the shop this week!
1214 bucks! :( Again, thats life. Not much else
has been going on. I did a promo-satire commercial
for my friends at stoicnoise.net - not sure if
they will use it, but i loved doing it. You can
download it off my releases/writings page. Not
much else going on. Oh, some people have been
getting onto my case for not being on IRC as much
on Undernet. BooHoo. I am taking a break. =)
Anyways, I gotta jet. Check out the new range
pictures under the pictures section, I am sure
you can find them... peace!
I just woke up. I thought it would time to rant. Oh, about nothing
in particular, but it's been a while since I updated. Lots of stuff
has been going on, and I have been pretty happy overall.. save
for a couple things, but thats life. Let's see... I am kinda bummed
out because my partner broke his leg, he is stuck in bed. I have
to work my stuff by myself for the most part, and he wants to
come in and work, but can't yet. I have been stuck in bed before,
it completely sucks. I must say, that technology has advanced
alot, he is part borg now! I am starting to get back into shooting,
hehe, mostly as a stress relief, I put up a page about it. Had
a awesome time doing that. Oh, and I have been playing alot
of America's Army and Neverwinter Nights. Neat games. I took
my car to the shop again. Time for a clutch master cylinder,
clutch slave cylinder and a brake master cylinder. 1200 bucks.
bah, I might need to find a cheaper \"fun\" car. I am probably
going to get the Porsche all fixed up, and then maybe take
it to Oklahoma for storage. If I do that, I will find a muscle car
or something to play with. Maybe another A-Body MOPAR..
I have always wanted to build a 440 Duster... For the amount
of money I have been putting into the Porsche, I could have
already built a car that will run 10's in the 1/4 mile.. HEEH.
We will see... Hmmm.. This is my short week this week, so
I only work 2 days, and then I go jump a plane to go see a
very special someone (they know who they are!) - I am looking
forward to this very much. I just have a busy day the day I leave...
gotta get a haircut, and do the bank stuff. And of course, goto
the airport (probably 2 hours early)... this media hype of these
terrorist things... very awful. Now, they have raised the homeland
security alert.. I am sure that it is justified, but people are going
to panic around, and so now we have terror. The terrorists have
won again it seems. I don't know. If people of the world would
look past their nose, they would see that their stupid little arguments
are trivial in the big picture. Oh well... life will survive in the event of
of a full blown war.. it may not be human life, but something will survive
to carry life forward. Think about that. Evolution!
Well, vacation is over. 11 days off, down the drain. Had a blast.
Went to Defcon X, in Las Vegas. I saw alot of friends, and
owned alot of machines. DataShark had a gambling obsession,
I bet both of us won and lost at least 5 grand. I know I covered
most of my expenses for the extra things, such as drinks and
more gambling.... alas I did not leave vegas ahead... one last
ditch attempt to find great fortune in the Hardrock took most
of my winnings. It was fun tho! The CTF competition at
DCX was awesome. Our team finished second to last, but
I think they said we got voted most aggressive team, and
placed 2nd in the number of machines that we owned.
The Unix Monkey crew and the Ghetto Hacker crew are the
absolute best. I can't wait for next year! As for the rest of my
life, I guess the main highpoint is now over, so I guess I will
concentrate on work again, and on getting a few of my
projects taken care of. I need to fix the Porsche, and maybe
do some modifications on it... One possible mod is a 350
conversion... Some Porsche people would scream sacriledge
at me.. but a 300 horsepower motor in a 944 would haul.
From what I am seeing on the web, I am looking at 5 grand to
do it. Double that, and thats probably what it really is. So,
I don't know. I'm young, single and dumb, so I just might.
Oh, btw.. we released KV12 on August 1st, so if you haven't
read it, drop by www.legions.org and grab a copy.. Has a few
funny things in it... I think thats all I have to update with. I
could use some breakfast, and of course, I have to goto work.
Hopefully, I will post again soon... later!
Wh00t! I am pumped! In just a few days, I will be in Las Vegas
with DataShark and we will be at Defcon X!!! I am going to have
11 days offwork!!! YES!! Well, Defcon is kinda like work, because
everyone talks shop, and of course the lectures, and etc.. but
still, its more of a vacation then I have had in a long time. This
should be fun and educational.. and of course, booze and
gambling! And I know everyone! It's great. DataShark is looking
forward to it as well. He had back surgery in anticipation of this
event. He wouldn't have done it otherwise.. haha.. Anyways..
not much has been going on. Just work. I went to Oklahoma
last weekend, and hung out. I swam in my mom's pool, got
sunburned really really bad. I am shedding skin like a snake.
I can just now shower without being in utter pain. I had fun tho!
I got to play with my cousins, and I took my dad to eat mexican
food. We talked about motorcycles and stuff. I actually scared him
in my truck. I was driving normal too! Dad trips me out sometimes.
My mom, is very happy about life it seems. She has her pool, a
tan, and a bad attitude. My mom rocks! Ah well, I gotta go.
Until next update!
Well... I know it's been a month, but I don't have much to
say. I am usually much too depressed to really give a damn
anyways. On a brighter note, July 2nd was my 1 year at my
current company. I hope I can give them at least the same
level of output this next year as I did last year. I am trying to get
work wrapped up, so I will finish this later or something.
Looks like its been a month since last post. Time flies. The thing
I dreaded the most, since the truck ordeal, has been the tags for
the truck. I have doubled my expenses in the last month, between
buying the truck, and paying off student loans and age old
screwups. 858 dollars later, I am pleased to announce that the
truck has tags. Whoot. Now I just need to get the damn thing
inspected. Work has been going good. Things have been getting
accomplished. I am started to get that \"pre-con excitement\" that
I always get before I make the pilgrimage to Las Vegas. Well,
considering the lack of vacation, it will be good to get away..
even if is to talk shop with a bunch of other people. My lack of
significant other has prompted strange desires lately.. I have
been playing Everquest again. It's fun. Not like I do anything else
with my spare time. I am still waiting for Star Wars Galaxies.
When SWG comes out, my Everquest account is going bye bye.
Oh, yah.. I got a new cell phone. Somehow, my old one got
shutoff.. I payed the bill, but it just magically went away.. my
old phone was in my ex's name.. so I don't know what exactly
happened. Big deal, minor annoyance. The new phone is much
cooler.. and with 9000 minutes a month, it works. I haven't
done anything really creative lately.. just haven't felt the need.
I have been coding some perl goodness at work, but that is about
the extent of it. I haven't had the energy to really lay down
some guitar, although.. I did take apart my amplifier and fix it.
Bad solder connections on the main input jack. It takes longer to
take the thing apart then to fix it. Oh, we started having
coffee get togethers once a week. Some friends and I get together
for coffee and talk about everything. You can find some pictures
of the first one on my pictures link. There are also pictures of the
truck, if you haven't seen that. hmmm.. what else.. OH! When
video drivers go wrong! http://wintermute.legions.org/~digi/everpr0n/
Check that out.. seems that EQ doesn't like Intel video chipsets...
so most of the people are naked! How cool is that? Hmmm..
I think thats about all I have to post. Time to smoke a
cigerette and get my morning report done. Have a happy day, and
remember.. when journeying through the realm of Norrath.. if you see
a small dwarf laughing and taking screenshots.. RUN.
Hi! Well, it's been a while. I have been pretty busy, almost too
busy to update this page, the other half of me procrastinates
it. Well, let's see. I haven't exactly been too peachy as of late.
I was going to take this awesome vacation to Orlando. Was
going to hang out at Disneyworld for almost a week, and get
into general mischief (wonder about disney's wireless network..
hmmm?). It was going to be a blast. Unfortunately, i had to
cancel, because the clutch went out on the Porsche. This time
I've enough. So I jumped a plane to Oklahoma, and went car
shopping with my mother.. (mom is a pro at car dealing). I
ended up with a 2002 Ford Ranger pickup. It's pretty sweet.
Automatic, A/C, and a decent stereo. I have a bunch of mods
planned for it.. bug shield, rain shields, chrome wheels and
rail guards.. Maybe toss in a mp3 player, a small amp and
some 8 inch subwoofers, and this truck will be completely
happy. It's going to take time, as I have to get used to the
idea of paying every month for a vehicle. I didn't get rid of
the Porsche either... so eventually, I am going to fix it back
up and drive it on the weekends. My apartment has become
a carlot!! 2 autos, and a motorcycle! Wh00t. All of this car
business has prompted me to reexamine myself... this time
fiancially.. My credit sucks! It didn't always used to be that
way, I just screwed up at a early age. If you would have told
me when I was 21 years old, that I would be doing what I do
now for a living, I wouldn't believe you. Oh well, life goes on.
I sent off for my credit report, and I am actually going to
open a bank account. Funny.. Anyways.. work is going
decent, I am about to finally complete a project that I started
6 months ago. I am happy about that.. I hate to leave projects
unfinished. Corperate red tape has held me up, and so now
it looks like everything is going to get through. I am excited
about it. Speaking of work, I am looking forward to Defcon
this year. I will be flying out to Vegas with DataShark. He is
psyched too. So psyched that he actually went and got his
back fixed. He is currently hobbling around like Master Yoda,
but he says he feels much better. Speaking of Yoda, if you
have not seen Attack of the Clones yet, YOU MUST GO.
If anything but to see Yoda dual with a lightsaber. He owns
everything. hmmm.. lets see. I can't think of anything more to
write, so until next post, stay sane...
Digital Ebola's 1st Law of Information:
Hi! I just woke up. I was mega-tired! I started my day Thursday,
waking up in the afternoon, and going to work. After work,
Friday morning, I came home, and picked up the house a
bit. I took the motorcycle to the carwash, to wash all that
oklahoma dirt off it. I found 10 bucks laying on the drain!
After that, I went and got a haircut, cause I was getting bushy.
Came home, showered, and then went to Richardson to
claim some prizes that I had won. I won a trip to the carribean
and a trip to vegas, and 400 lottery tickets. WH00t! They also
tried to sell me some floating time share stuff, which would
have been cool I guess, but I didnt feel like dropping cash
for it. After that... I went to a meeting at work, we talked about
some cool stuff. Work is going well I think. Soon after that,
we convoyed to the Samba Room of Dallas. We basically
mobbed the place. All of this to celebrate one of our own
teammembers going to bigger and better things within our
company. Makes me pretty happy when one of our team
can do something like that. I was pretty underdressed for the
Samba Room.. but it was pretty cool. I drank a couple of
long island iced teas and then said goodbyes, and came
home. The night was still young, so I ended up going for
sushi with N/A. Sushi rocks. After we were done, we met
DataShark and Laii out in the parkinglot and hung out for a
few.. by that time, I was really really tired. N/A dropped me
off at home, and I passed out. All in all, a awesome day.
Spent the day either winning stuff, or with cool people.
I am however losing my partner, Roadtrip, to the other night
shift. This isnt so fun, but its for the greater good. Roadtrip
has absorbed alot of information, and he will make a awesome
security person. He is a natural. My new partner is Netbeui,
who is a very technical dude, and also a good friend. We
will work very well together. Besides the shift changes, work
is defintely happening. I have tons of stuff that I need to write
project wise, and I need to get cracking on some code too!
9 months into the job, and I am getting my second wind. I
know what my purpose at work is, and if all well, within the
year, things will be huge. I have to focus!!! This should
continue to be a good weekend, I am going to relax, chill out
and maybe even do the dishes.. =) Will wonders never cease?
I am tired. I left monday to goto Oklahoma for a couple of days.
I took the motorcycle. I left Grapevine about 6 pm Monday,
but it took a good hour and a half just to get out of town. Traffic
totally blew cause of the Nascar race. I had to compete with
these dudes for space on the way to oklahoma, big honking
RV's were trying to blow me over... Then it started to get
chilly. By the time I hit Oklahoma City, I was a digi popsickle.
I forged on to Stillwater, and hooked up with a friend of mine.
Stayed the night there, and went to Pawhuska the next day to
see my Mom, Dad, Uncle, and Grandma. Had to show off the
motorcycle. It was pretty cool. I also saw a friend of mine that
I haven't seen in 7 years. After all the visiting was done, I
drove back to stillwater, and stayed another night. I got up
this morning, and went to ph33ds house, visited there, and then
drove back to Grapevine. Total milege was about 1000 miles.
I feel pretty good, but worn out. I have to work tonight. I will
probably be wayyyyyyyy dead. I am starting to think the
key to combatting depression is to never give yourself time
to be depressed. I am trying not to stay home as much
anymore. I work these next 2 days, and then I am off for the
weekend. The weather looks to be very nice, if it stays that
way, I may actually go skydiving this weekend. I have never
been, but it seems like it would be pretty cool. I am sure if
I don't go, I will find something to do. So I guess I will go
get ready for work and get these two days over with..
Well.. I guess I don't have much to rant about. I got back from
my trip, had a fun time. Was the happiest that I have been in a
long time. Unfortunately, life calls you back, and the fun times
can't last. I am constantly being reminded of this it seems. Lost
hopes and dreams, in some respects. I am really, seriously, utterly
depressed. I'm tired of this! I keep telling myself, that its no big
thing, it will pass, etc. When does it change? How does one make
it change? I am trying everything I know how. I've changed my
diet, started working out more, everything and anything to take
my mind off it. I can't shake it. Am I freaking crazy? Wait.. don't
answer that one. Hell, its hard to keep my mind on my job. I am
25 years old and it feels like I am running in place. I should not
feel like this. I feel like life just isn't worth the hassle. Everyday.
I know this isn't so, I know there is something out there, but
damned if I know what. So, I guess the next step is to try and
change constant aspects of my life. So I am leaving IRC for a
bit.. even though it keeps me linked to alot of information that
I really need, and it keeps me in touch with friends, I guess I will
try to take a break from it. I am leaving a client connected for the
sheer hell of it, but i will not be anywhere close to it. If anyone
has to get ahold of me, try my cellphone, pager, IM, or email.
Feh. I am at work. Roadtrip is out for a bit, doing the softball thing
and all systems are green. No intrusions, no nothing. This is not
a bad thing. So, I have been getting alot of my thoughts figured
out, and getting some of my work organized. I have figured out
alot of things about the way I feel about life. I still don't have
much of a long-term purpose, but I can give insight to what keeps
me going. It's isn't money, I have long decided that money is a
means and not a end. Of course, I would like to make more, just
to be able to do more things, but thats not the source of my
ambition.. SO.. I started thinking about what exactly the source
is, and came up with this: the ability to build things, create, mold
and improvise. Specifically, I like big projects. Part of the reason
I am organizing all my thoughts, I am hopeful that someday I
will get the chance to put them into motion. Lately I have been
a bit burned out, and a little bored. I need a vacation, and I have
decided that before June, I will defintely take one. I know I will
take a cruise, I don't know with who, or what the circumstances
will be, but I am going. I need a non-tech excursion. It's been
too long. Of course, I am probably doing defcon in august, but
that stopped counting as a vacation along time ago. hehe. I have
also figured out what keeps me living, its not the best thing, but
the only way to look at it, when you feel like I do. That is the
thought that something will change for the better. I am not
really a optimist, but I am trying very hard to look for good things
to happen, and to be strong for the bad things. Seems like
everyone I know always comes to me for advice, and what not,
but I do not have anywhere that I go. I guess thats why I rant.
It's very hard to stay centered sometimes. The workouts and
change in foods is helping a bit. I am not quite as depressed
all the time, more like it comes and goes in spurts. This is a
pleasant change. It gives some hope. This summer is going to be
a interesting and life changing summer. I know that something
is just around the corner that is going to be a big change. I can
feel it coming together, but like a deer trapped in the headlights,
I have no idea what the hell is coming. I do know that this
summer is going to be fun, real fun, not just like crappy fun, but
I am defintely going skydiving, and defintely going on vacation
and some guys at work are talking about deep sea fishing and
paintball. Great things are afoot. So anyways... after this shift
I am going to go home and get some stuff done, and then go
out of town, a friend of mine needs me. It will be fun to get
away for a couple of days, and unwind. I hardly ever go
out of town during the week, so I am sure the change will be
welcome. All in all, I am still down, but not as down, and more
hopeful. So thats my rant for now, be good, and take care.
Hmmmm. I am mentally preparing myself for work tonight.
This consists of having a nice breakfast of fruit. Fruit rocks.
I cleaned on the aquarium this morning. My oscars have
systematically slaughtered everything in the tank, except
for the snails and the catfish. This was to be expected. I wiped
down the inside of the glass on the front, changed out 4 filters,
and cleaned out the power heads. The tank cleared up nicely.
I removed a dead ugly plant, and rearranged a couple of
plants.. so its looking pretty damn nice. So anyways.. people
have been ringing my phone off the hook all day long. Don't
they know I sleep during the day?! Whats up with that? Anyways,
I don't really have much to rant about, I have to shower
pretty quick, and goto work.. BTW, I just wanted everyone
to know that Snoopy rocks my socks! =) Maybe I will rant
later in the evening.. who knows. We shall see where this day
goes...
Ahh... It's Sunday. My weekend was blah. Friday night royally
sucked, I ended up having to beat up on wintermute. DataShark
was here, and we were going to go play pool. Seemed like
all at once, he got engrossed in work stuff on the phone, and
wintermute had a spat. So, he had to go home, and I fixed my
box. I went and played pool, by myself, ran about 20 racks,
drank about 4 beers. Got a headache. Came home and
went to bed. Woke up Saturday, it was raining. I got bored,
so I went back to sleep. Woke up at 8:30pm or so, and
went to Korin's party. It was a nice party, played alot of poker
and met some people, although I think I was a bit out of my
element since I didn't know alot of the people there. I am not
really good with large groups of people that I don't know, at
least in a social setting.. I do okay in a business setting for
some reason.. anyways.. I drank a bit of beer and came
home, with another headache. Slept. Woke up at 10:30
this morning, and had some veggies for breakfast. I took
a shower, and took the motorcycle out for a spin. Went
around the lake, and took a drag through town. Came home
and played a bit on the computer. Wow. Rivver came over
and we went and shot pool. Came home, he left. That has
been pretty much my weekend. I did however figure something
out tonight.. I have been in self-analysis mode for a while now,
and I am constantly running through my entire life, from my
work to my non-existent social life. I am a believer in fate...
I have a theory that quantum physics powers fate. The people
you meet, are changed, even if you say a simple hello to them.
For alot of relationships, entire careers or goals may be
changed by the simple injection of opinions or ideas. I have
been watching fate from the past perspective for a long time,
and suddenly I have come up with a concept that I refer to
as \"fucking fate\". I believe that everything has a reason, a role
in a grand scheme of things.. and life is like a game a chess.
Except in life, you cannot see your opponents pieces. Now,
if we are to fuck fate, we have to know where those pieces are.
Mathematics says we can do this, just like we find unknown
planets.. or similiar activities of reasoning. The only flaw, is
that life is a infinite chessboard. My whole point to this, is
to fuck fate. If I can size a situation up, I might make a better
decision. When something bad happens, you get wrapped
up in that situation. You might make decisions that are really
bad decisions, that make matters worse. I can look back
on my life, and see all my screwups, and know for a fact
that if those events had not transpired, I would not be sitting
here typing this. Now... knowing that, I just have to understand
that just cause a situation is bad, does not mean its going to
have a completely negative effect in the long term. If I can
fuck fate, then I can look upon such situations with a easier
mind. Its almost like sacrificing a pawn so you can take a
knight. I have no idea if this makes any sense to anyone or
not, but this is a rant page, and my rants are very complex
creatures. Sometimes they are crazy. hehe. Yes, for those
of you asking, I am still quite depressed, but the workouts
are helping a bit. If I continue at this rate, I will probably
be lifting small cars over my head by the end of the year.
Nothing like a depressed maniac hurtling cars through the
air. =)
Welp. It's morning. Had a quiet night at work all in all. Good
thing too... I am beat. I have been up over 24 hours. I called
dad on the way home, and made sure he was doing okay,
and my cell phone had a nasty echo on it.. pissed me off.
Dad is doing very well though. When I got home, I changed
and went to the workout room for 30 minutes, trying to snap
myself out of this depressive state I am always in. Hey, when
you aint getting laid on a regular basis, you just gotta work
with what ya got. Since I have been up so long, I am now
shaking, so I sense sleep in the next few minutes. 1 more
night of work, and I am free for the weekend. wh00t. The
weather is improving, so I think I might ride the motorcycle
in tonight... I am looking forward to this weekend, I just have
a feeling everything is gonna be cool. Got a neat party to
goto saturday, and I haven't been to a party in ages. Maybe
the weather will be happy, and provide plenty of motorcycle
madness.. cool stuff.
Good morning. I decided to quit posting for a while. This stuff
was getting to be too depressing. Well, I don't think I can
really avoid that, so I will start writing here again. I have
reached this point in my life, where nothing much really seems
to matter. I don't know why. I am just not very interested in
much of anything that I used to be... Datashark tells me that
it is burn out. Maybe so. I just don't find very much thrill in
the career anymore, or money, or anything that would provide
a solid foundation for ambition. All I really wanna do is settle
down with someone I really like, and make them happy.. and
well, the sort of women that qualify for that kind of attention
are very few and far between. Anyways.. let's see, what has
happened since I last posted... I am still dating around, dating
really sucks. I am not very good at it, in the terms that it seems
like you are always jumping from person to person. I have
been working, and it looks like work is chugging right along,
with some good developments in motion. I have this goal of
building a Security Operations Center, with a bunch of
uber-leet security dudes. Hey, it could happen. I have really
been neglecting my aqurium, so I decided to get a sunglow
lamp to replace one of my purplish lights... my plants are
really taking off now. I also got 2 oscars, which are really
cool fish. Everything else that is in the tank is now oscar food.
Whoot! I have been playing alot of guitar lately, and the new
bike is riding well, weather permitting of course... Weather
has been sucking major lately. It's usually nice on days that
we work. When we are off work, it's raining. I took the bike
out yesterday morning in 40 degree weather, just to wake up.
It was pretty fun. The bike is now of course, paid off, and I
have a new back tire on it, and saddlebags to boot. Now, I am
trying to decide what else I am going to try and accomplish
this summer... I really want to take a vacation still... but I have
nobody really cool to take with me. Bahamas anyone? At the
end of summer, I am also making plans to buy another car...
Don't know what I am going to get yet. Probably a sports car,
I really should'nt, but hell, I am 25, not dead yet. Of course,
being 25, with no tickets on my record, I have uber-low
insurance. Let's see... oh yah, I finished reading Cryptonomicon.
If you have not read this book, you need to get it. Has alot of
cool stuff about crypto, WWII, and Turing in it. Speaking of
Turing, I really want to build a computer based on the human
brain. The human brain is the most powerful computer there is
(I will spend hours on end convincing you of this). I am really
looking for a new architecture type, that would be much faster
on calculations... I have my reasons for this, but everyday
I seem to find a new application where such speed is needed.
It is fun to dream. Oh, my mom said something extremely
funny to me the other day on the phone.. \"Why do you care
about quantum physics!? Nobody cares about quantum physics,
waste of time!\"... My mom rocks. I then told her by talking on
the phone, she was observing me, and since she was observing
me, I had stayed downstairs longer then I had originally intended,
so I had to go back to work... Sorry mom, you are caught in
the evil grasp of physics! bwhahahah! hmmm.. well I guess I am
going to smoke another cigerette and try to wake up, I kinda
screwed my hours over, cause I went to bed early last nite...
I had to think about alot of stuff.. until next post, stay sane,
be mindful of gravity, and always take shrodingers cat into
account when you talk to your kids on the phone....
Yo! Well I haven't updated this page in a while. Let's see.
The 26th was my birthday. It sucked. I don't know what else
to say. It just royally sucked. I am now 25. In better news, I have
acquired a motorcycle, a 1996 Suzuki Intruder 800. Its a clean
bike. I like it. I just wish the weather would cooperate. It is
always warm on my work days, and freezing on my off days.
I have this weekend off, I hope it warms up. I actually had to
turn my heater on tonight. I haven't had to turn it on all winter.
For those wondering, yes I am still depressed. The only time
I am sane, is when I am on the motorcycle. I was at the motorcycle
shop today, and it really got me. All these dads were coming
in to get parts for their little kids dirtbikes. Talk about depressing.
I thought, when I have a son, he is going to race. Thats all there
is to it. Computers and motorcycle racing. Heh. Not else
has really went on since last post. Oh yah, valentines day.
It sucked. Like you could'nt have guessed. No, actually, lets
get back to this birthday thing again. It really sucked. I can't
begin to say how much it sucked. I went out and put gas in the
porsche, and got a carton of smokes and a 12 pack of corona,
and I came home, put the 12 pack next to my 12 pack of budweiser
,drank 2 corona's and then lost interest. I didn't even have the
willpower to get drunk. Isn't your birthday spose to be fun?
My team at work remembered, a day early even. They rock.
Mom and my aunt Sharon called. Various people on the
computer sent email and harrassed me on IRC... so I guess
it could have been worse. But still... it sucked. Enough of this
posting stuff, I'm gonna go play everquest or something... btw,
you should see more writings coming up soon, I rewrote the
hackers manifesto, and I started writing a IDS paper, kinda a
thing for newbies, and I am toying around with a couple short
story ideas.. (thanks for the complements russian dude whoever
you are, I'm gonna write more!).. and lets see.. more or less,
I am going to try and be more creative to see if I can pour this
depression stuff into something productive. Who knows. Anyways, thats it for now.
I feel like shit. I can't really explain what is wrong, but alot of it is
stress related. My energy levels and motivation levels are down
to a bare minimum. I don't feel like being at work at all. I went
home early last night, I refuse to go home early tonight, just
because I don't feel so well... I feel quite drained. Oh well, thats
life. I can't really think of anything thats happened. Well nothing
I can actually talk about. I think I am going to buy a motorcycle. A
coworker/friend of mine wants to sell me his 800 cc. I think I will
do it, instead of going on a vacation. Not like I have anyone to
take on a cruise anyways. The shitty thing is, I have the money.
Hah! Before, the only thing really holding me back was keeping
ahold of 1000 bucks for long enough to make the reservations.
Oh gee, problem solved, but I don't want to go by myself. So,
I guess I will get another bike. I miss my old one (which died several
years ago on me in the middle of Tulsa, for those of you that didnt know),
and I look forward to the possibility of dying young in my life. Why
you ask? I will tell you. I will be 25 years old in 25 days. I am trying
to think of all the things I wanna do before I die, and I cannot
think of a single things. I sit here everyday without a freaking
purpose, and it drives me insane. I just goto work and come home.
That is it. That is all I have. I think at this point, the phrase
\"It is better to burn out, then to fade away\" comes to mind.
I don't know. I can't keep going on like this. I just don't see how.
My mom is starting to tell me this shit is chemical depression,
(runs in my family, runs in native americans, and I have had to
get pills once before). I don't want to get pills, I should be able to
live without pills. Screw it. I am probably going out of town this
weekend, not entirely sure, but I am going to make every effort
to get lost. Maybe that will help.
Okay.. Humanity is doomed. The other day, Datashark and I embarked
to the mall, to get some grub. We decided to eat at the Rainforest
Cafe, and it was good. After dinner, we left, and started our
way outside, to see a crapload of rain. The car was somewhat
out in the parking lot, so we decided to goto Books-A-Million...
Books-a-million never has anything you are ever looking for.. So
Datashark asks about cryptology books, and the book lady said
all they carry is fluff. I asked her if she had any Rudy Rucker books
and she said in the warehouse. Because people don't buy them. No
wonder they don't buy them, they are in the stupid warehouse...
anyways, we continue on to the computer book section, when
Datashark grabbed this book.. \"The Complete Idiots Guide to
Finding Sex on the Internet\". I snatched it from him, and promptly
shat down both legs. Any person that needs a book to know how
to find porn on the internet does not need to be on the internet.
Period. I mean, come on people! Wheres your brain cells!? Porn
built the internet. Geez. Oh, the runner-up, was a 900 page book
on how to download mp3s. Humanity is surely doomed... We ran
from the books-a-million... Let's see, what the hell else is going on...
not much... just having everquest withdrawals... tried to install
it on my laptop, but it runs like crap on a ATI Rage Mobility... all of
the people who said it would run okay, obviously do not know
what okay is. I run it on one of my desktops at home (athelon 1.2 ghz,
16 meg video) and it runs okay. On the laptop, it runs like crap.
So I rm'ed it. I need my EQ fix. I am going to die. hehehe.
Anyways, I gotta run, I have to go make a emergency DNS change
here at work. Laters.
Oh wow. Long time since I posted last. Let's see. I broke the palm
pilot. I got a 32 meg upgrade card for it, and was very happy. Then
I pulled the card out, and now it wont go back in. So I have to
send the pilot back. Geez. Oh, went out last saturday night, with
Roadtrip and some other people. We went to Deep Ellum. It was
cool, I had the shrimp. I started the night out with a shot of
tequlia and a corona, and of course one corona led to another...
so we left that place and went to another bar, where I started
drinking budweiser. I also played pool. I kicked ass. So we moved
yet again to another bar. Again, drinking bud. We went upstairs
on the roof (theres another section of bar up there) and we
had Barcardi shooters, and jello shots. And yet more beer.
Looking from the roof of the bar, we saw alot of cop cars.
Someone got shot by the bar we were previously at. The cops
were roping it off. So, right about time to go, I grabbed a water,
and started chugging, trying at this point to get the 12 pack and
several shots outta my system. Walking down the street, by the
now crime scene, we saw a saxophone dude, and I asked him
if you needed a license to play downtown, he said no. He also
said his hands were cold. Scary. Anyways, we went back to
Roadtrips, and chilled out there for a bit, and finally I left.
When I got home, I promptly passed out, and woke up the next
day to a massive hangover (not enough water I guess). So,
I played Everquest most of the day. Yes, I have started playing
Everquest. It's neat. So, I came to work Monday night without
incident, but this morning upon leaving work, I got to witness a
wreck at about 65 mph. I was about to jump on the I-35 exit from
I-45, and these people in the lane next to mine crunched. Glass
hit my car, and I think a couple shards came in the car with me.
I was that close. I promptly exited onto I-35 and continued my
mission of making it home without dying. So I made it home, and
played some everquest, and went to sleep. Random people kept
calling through the day, some with important news, and some
trying to sell me stuff, so I didn't sleep for anything. I finally woke
up at 5:45 pm, and was late for work. I came to work, and immediately
got thrown into a client security issue, which I worked on for almost
3 hours. Joy. With that finally done, Roadtrip and Bigbaby (thats
the shift lead) went out and got food. So I got a burger and fries
from Chilis. I have 2 days off. That is good, except I have a
mandantory meeting Thursday morning. That sucks. Oh well, this
is my long week, so I don't expect to have my time for anything.
I need a vacation. Where should I go? I have nobody to go with
anyways. I can jump on a plane right now, but I won't cause going
alone sucks. Anyways, I am starting to wonder if life is trying to
tell me something, with so many shitty events happening close to
me. It could always be worse I guess. Anyways, I will rant more
later.
Bah. I hate these mornings. I come home from work, and
there isn't anyone but a freaking cat to greet me. Do you know
how hard it is to discuss principles of antimatter propulsion
with a cat? I mean, really. I mention this stuff to the cat and
she just says the same thing over and over. \"Meow\". How
original is that? I am stupidly tired of being single. The trick
is how to find a girl that shares the same goals and interests.
Do they even exist? I should have stayed at work, and
speaking of work.. I have been tossing in some hours..
18 hours straight and then 14 hours straight the other day...
Of course, I work 12 hours a shift, but geez. If I didn't have
to sleep, I would probably just stay at work, its harder to get
depressed that way. And it pays. bah. Well, I have one more
day of work, and then its 2 days off. The downside is that
I am broke. Go figure. Payday is soon.. and I have no idea
what I am going to do, besides paying bills. I will either plan
a vacation, or buy a motorcycle. Or do something stupid,
like jump out of a airplane. Anything to get me away from
day to day existence. Cause mine is sucking right now. I am
seriously putting digi's philosophy to the test. I haven't been
feeling real well lately either, so if I seem distant or snappy
online, that is most likely the reason. It isnt you, unless I say
it's you. I may go to the doctor. I don't know. Doctors really
suck. Texas doctors are weird too.. like, in Oklahoma, you
get personalized treatment. Everyone is different. In Texas,
they run you in like herdbeasts, and then just cause the 50
people before you had a cold, they think you do too... No me
gusta! El medico es loco! Anyways. I am tired. I am going
to smoke one more cigerette and get some sleep. Later.
Whoa. I don't know why I am so damn tired. I didn't do hardly
anything for New Years. Bah. Just glad the holidays are over.
I ended up putting new tires on the car 2 weeks early. Good
thing too. One of the front tires had a split in it, and the
steelbelt was all hanging off. It was driving on inner tread. Oops.
Anyways, I shelled out 475 bucks and put 4 new Goodyear Eagles
on it. Nice tire. I now remember why I drive a Porsche. =)
Handling has been restored, and now I don't have to worry
about having a flat in the cold out on I-35 somewhere. Besides,
the spare tire on the car is dreadful. They give you this little
collapsable thing, and little porsche air compressor. It's not fun.
So, new tires all the way around. Let's see. What else has been
going on. Nothing much, gotta send the first of the month
bills off, and attempt to do laundry sometime this week. My
life is exciting! At least this is the short week. I will be off the
weekend. I have no idea what I am going to be doing. Seems to
be par for the course lately. Tommarrow night is probably going
to go slow at work, cause Roadtrip is taking the day off. He
seems to think he can work all night tonight and then drive 12
hours afterwards. Kids! hahahaa. I have been looking at the
ACID php code, and I think it's making my stomach all queasy.
PHP code. hehe. Hmmm, I have entered another one of those
periods of self-analysis. It's quite depressing. I wish I could
get out of this cycle. I really do have high hopes for 2002, mostly
cause 2001 had just ended up sucking. I mean, lets see.. highlights
of 2001 sucking: Promotion resended 10 days before it was
spose to happen cause of layoffs. Then layoffs, and more
layoffs, and finally getting the boot myself in May. Sierra dying.
That had sucked, even though we wasn't talking, he was getting
his stuff together.. but he is gone now. And then the splitup of
Kristina and myself. That really sucked. I missed Defcon too. That
had royally sucked as well. And finally, spending the holidays
alone or working. What a great finish. The only good things that
happened in 2001, was the fact I got a good job doing security
stuff, and I did meet someone special, but we just cannot remain
together because her life lies along another path. I still have my
cat, and my place, and everything that means something to me,
so I guess it could always be worse... but ya know, I defintely
feel like the karma dues are paid. I know there are alot of other
people out there feeling the same way, with the Sept 11th stuff
and the recession (depression?!)... Karma has been paid in full
thank you very much. Let's have a better year, cause its no where
to go but up. Or something like that.
Hello childenz. I am at work. Doing some deep thinking. Sucks.
I got my new palm pilot finally. It rocks. The m505 is everything
I had hoped. I already put a crapload of stuff on it. It does
pictures and video even. Very nice toy. This night is going
kinda sluggish. It started out fast, then it stopped. I wanna go
home and goto sleep. I have no idea what I am doing for
New Years yet. I thought I had plans, but then I think they got
changed on me. I have had a couple offers to go places and
chill, but I am not sure. I think at this point, mass quanities of
alcohol is defintely in order. I woke up this morning
(my morning, not your morning) with a bad hangover. I went
kinda crazy last nite and bought a 20 pack of beer. It was nice.
I definitely paid for it when I woke up. Today was payday. Gotta
pay bills. blah. Life is blah right now. I dont know why yet, but
when I do find out, im sure I will post it.
Well... lets see. It's Christmas. I am at work. 30 minutes and I
will be getting off work. Pretty bored, even though I have
projects going on... (hey, I worked on them somewhat!)...
Building another Debian GNU/Linux box for work. Fun stuff.
My new Palm Pilot m505 has NOT arrived yet. I am kinda
disappointed, but oh well. All is well, except I am kinda missing
Oklahoma. I don't get homesick all that often. My dad is out of
the hospital. He is doing well, but he needs to learn to take it
easy. I wish I was up there, I could be driving his stubborn self
around, and visiting with my mom. Thats just not how the chips
fell this year. I have just started to get the feeling that I am
running against a clock here, that theres not as much time left
as it seems. Sure, you can say your parents will be around another
20 years or so, but still, is 20 years a really long time? I guess it
would be if you were in prison or something.. but regular life
stuff, not at all. I don't know, I sit here, working my tail off,
doing these 12 hour shift things, and I am wondering why. Not
depressed, mind you, but I am laughing at it all. Work is going
pretty good all in all, Roadtrip got me a CISSP study book!@!#$
Roadtrip owns. I gotta take him out to beer and sushi or
something. I am kinda bummed although, besides being
slightly homesick... I will not see my girl until Wednesday. And
that just sucks. Again, what can you do. Write about it I guess.
Oh, just to show you how bummed I have felt about the home
thing.. I actually signed up for/paid for a classmates.com
membership. HEH. So, if you are from my old hometown, and
you graduated around 1995.. well, you can find me on there.
Isn't technology swell?
Hi there! It's been a great weekend. My girl stayed over this
weekend, and we went and saw Lord of the Rings. Quite a
nice movie, but they leave ya hanging. Everyone is getting
into the christmas thing, and its quite gruesome. DataShark
and his wife gave me a zippo lighter and a little nicky dvd, and
BigGeezer gave me a DEC Alpha. Everyone is quite cool. Too
bad I had to spend most of my cash on the car. :( Anyways,
my mom is having a Palmpilot m505 shipped here. Color.
Yummy. Hopefully it will be here today, cause I gotta work,
and it would be a good way to veg out at work, just getting
all my numbers straight and stuff. Oh, yah, work... hehee, I
have 2 major projects going on, and I am going to be hopping.
Still good to veg though... I should have no problem meeting
my deadlines. Lets see, what have I done tonight.. I played
wolfenstein for a bit, ordered in some chinese food, and
then imaged the DEC Alpha 233 with Debian 3.0/unstable.
I also turned flatline into a dedicated NAT box, and I moved
one of my tables closer, so I would have easy access to the
SGI... I then installed Netscape 4.7 on the SGI, and got it
all spiffied up. I had to vape the SGI a few months back, and
since sandbenders has been dead, I havent really went outside
of the network with it... But sandbenders is alive and well
as a DEC box... Don't know exactly what I am going to do
with it yet... Prolly it will be a mysql server for starts... I
would like to run ACID/Snort Report here at the house... dunno.
I am pretty much brain fried, but its been fun. I had been
ignoring my network for a while now, cause I have been busy,
it just feels good to veg out on fun stuff.
Hi! Well, its almost 8pm, and I am at work. Got some projects
here to work on, and I have to do some more reading on
Cisco Netranger. I tell you this: Snort is better. I still have to know
Ciscos crappy offering though. Anyways, I was reading about the
American Taliban thing... and like, my feelings to be blunt: traitor.
He should suffer a traitors punishment, which is death I guess...
Kinda crappy, but then again, he took up arms against his own
country. GEE. HMMM. LET ME THINK... Anyways, I am ranting,
this is what the rant page is for. In other news... hehe, I dropped
1200 bucks on the porsche. Replaced 2 back shocks and the
lower control arm. All parts are from Stutguart. Not cheap. The
car is still walking on the road, just not as much. This is due to my
tires having bubbles on them. Next month, I will put 4 new
goodyears on it I guess. Oh, yah, my dad went and did kidney
surgery yesterday. They removed stones and fixed some things.
He is okay. I was kinda worried. Roadtrip says that he is a
asshole. Roadtrip is funny like that. Fear Roadtrip. Where was I?
Oh yah, I met a girl. She is nice. We are going to see Lord of the
Rings with Datashark and his wife. Its going to be cool. I need
a cigerette. I will update this more in a bit.
Well. Its my long week. I am very very tired. Work is going good,
I have some projects to do, alot of Snort stuff. Snort makes me
happy. It is very good software. Anyways, I am sitting here trying
to decide what to do next. I should really update more, but lately
there are things happening that I am not ready to talk about in
a public forum. Not quite yet. =) Good stuff though. My car
goes to the shop monday. They ordered the lower control arm
directly from porsche, $500+ bucks. Sucks. Oh well, you have to
be able to steer, and keeping the wheels on the car is always a
plus. I had a decent check this payday (today was payday, wh00t!)
and everything will probably even out. Christmas is still canceled
though. =) Well, thats all I have for tonight really... I just want
to sleep.
Rar! I haven't updated in a few days. I canceled christmas, and
now I feel bad. I called my mom today, and she told me that she
ordered me a color palm pilot for christmas. Thats pretty cool.
Christmas is still canceled though. Well, I am sitting here at work,
just got done with dinner. Taco Bell. MmmmmmmmMmm. Doing
a Visio diagram over a new project here at work, and wishing
I was some place else. At least it has been quiet so far. The night
is just dragging though. I should be installing Debian on some
boxes here at work, but I am procrastinating. I will be here all
weekend, so I am in no rush. I gotta call the mechanic tommarrow
so he can order the parts for the porsche. It will go see the
doctor next week. *sigh* My dad is also going to see the doctor,
as I talked to him today. He said something about getting a probe
jammed into his colon or something, like total violation. He has
to go have some stones or something removed. Total bummer,
cause they have lasered him like 5 times already. This time they
are gonna chop him up, and he will be in the hospital, in Tulsa.
That freaking sucks. Lately I have been finding that I miss my
parents and I am feeling that I am missing events. Maybe the
mechanic will work fast so I can buzz up to Tulsa and see the old
fart. He said not to worry about it, just call, but I realized, that I
don't have much family that I am close to. Ah well. We are
watching hackers 2 here at work, and I think my attention span
dropped it like 4 minutes into it. Maybe I will watch it some other
time, but it's kinda funny, cause the guys here at work ask me
questions like \"HOW?\" or something, and I have to look up and
explain something. My co-workers are pretty cool. Roadtrip is
wanting mass destruction on the new compaq box we have just
aquired.. he keeps chanting \"DEBIAN! DEBIAN!\" or something.
I just want to sleep. I just want to be anywhere but work really.
I should really plan a vacation.
Blah. I got 4 hours overtime for the pay period. Whoot. I had
to come to work early today, had a 2 hour meeting. 14 hour
days. Blech. Anyways, coming into the weekend, I have no idea
what I am going to do. Maybe play some pool, do laundry, and
get a haircut. I am going to my boss's house saturday for our
team holiday party. Neat. Hopefully this night goes quick. Oh,
I don't know if I mentioned it, but I went ahead and bought the
new wolfenstein. Good game. Multiplayer is fun. Its going to
be fun to have off friday, saturday and sunday. I just need to
find a diversion. A cheap diversion at that, cause I am broke.
This is a rare occurence. Oh well, maybe I will stay at home and
study for the CISSP. I have been in the fridge too. Beer is yummy.
Bah. I'm tired. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I am at work.
Joy. I have to work Christmas. Even more joy. I am canceling
christmas, and I am on a crusade to inform all the worlds
children that there is no santa clause. On top of all that, there
is work crap that is ticking me off. I don't really have anything
positive here to say. I paid the bills today. whoo. Oh, yah,
speaking of that, I had a 311.00 phone bill. I found out why too.
Cause when Verizon switched over my phone line, they kept me
on ATT, cept there was no calling plan. I called ATT, and they
gave me a 199.00 credit. There is some good in the world.
Let's see.. nothing else is going on. This is my short week, and
I am thinking about getting totally smashed this weekend. I think
I could use it.
Wh00t. I am coming into my short work week. I woke up at 3:10 pm
today. I had a hard time waking up, and wished for coffee.. but
alas, I didn't have the time. Intake from 5 to now: 2 redbulls,
1 coca-cola, and 2 ripped fuels. I am slowly waking up. Anyways,
I don't have much to say right now.. but I figured I would give a
example how the average night shifter copes with a weird schedule.
Lots and lots of caffeine, ginsing, ephedrine... hmmm. I can't wait
to be off work for a couple days, just to relax, have a cup of coffee
and unwind. I gotta do laundry soon though.. :( oh well...
Ahhhh. All quiet on the digital front. Unless you run WU-FTPd...
Hah! Tonight has been pretty quiet here at work, and its going
by pretty quick. I worked a ticket, and had to let a tech in for
a smartjack replacement.. and did the nightly security research...
and lets see... thats about it. I have taken pnt's suggestion finally
and played Black and White. Cool game. I can really get used to
being a god. The greatest thing I think, is picking up the mortals
and lobbing them across the countryside. HEH! Well, I should be
downright depressed right now, but the guys at work keep
feeding me metabolism supplements, and I am pretty much flying
at high speed. It really works on improving the mood, and I think
maybe my work performance is improving some too. Well.. more
like, I am not quite so tired, and I feel motivated to drive issues.
I am soon to be broke, since I missed a couple of days on the last
pay period, my check was not quite the usual. Luckily, I have some
cash in reserve, so bills are going to be ontime as usual. It looks to
be a slim christmas nevertheless, cause I gotta replace that
lower control arm on the porsche. I am working Christmas anyways
and I think its going to be a while before I can get back to
Oklahoma to see the family. I really don't care about Christmas
anyways, I don't have anyone special to spend it with. I think I
am accepting this fact and moving on. The good news is, I will
be off for New Years Eve and New Years day. What to do, I havent
really partied on New Years in a long time... If anyone has any
suggestions, let me know... Ah well.
Rar. It's 2 pm or something. I should be sleeping. I passed out
last night in the middle of Enterprise, and didnt leave the
couch until noon. Great thing, laptops and remote controls.
I built a coffee table out of Sparcs.
Kinda nifty. So I am not really depressed or anything today, I
mean I am kinda down, but I think I just need to go eat or play
pool or something. Maybe I will slip out of here in a few minutes
and go find food. Hmmm. I should probably code on the mud
today... I should do SOMETHING, but I am kinda tired still, and
its a balmy 37 degrees here in Grapevine. It gets cold, and
all I want to do is hibernate. I have to work this weekend, as
this is my long week. It's just as well, I would probably be
bored this weekend anyways. Work would probably be cooler
if I could smoke at my terminals there, as nights aren't that bad.
When your busy, your mad busy. When your slow, its dead.
Thank god for movies, and compilers. =)
Erm... I am sitting here at work, frowning. I have been in one of
many datacenters working on a AS/400... Roadtrip and myself
have been running our asses off... a weird change from the
norm. Let's see... stuff thats happened in the last few days..
I went to Oklahoma Friday morning, I didn't sleep after work,
left Dallas at 8 am, was in Stillwater by 11 am, hung around, saw
some friends, and took pictures. After that I left for Pawhuska.
On the way to Pawhuska, I ran into ph33d on the road. We
talked a bit at a gas station in Cleveland, so that put me in
Pawhuska about 2pm. So when I finally got there, I hung out
with mom a bit, grabbed a shower, and then went to
her bar to drink beer and shoot pool. By 1:30 am Saturday, I
was very looney from lack of sleep. I spent most of Saturday
seeing my dad, my sister, neices and nephew. After that, I
returned to the bar, hung out, shot pool, and talked to mom.
So the next day, I made my way back to Dallas, stopping back
in Stillwater, had dinner with Madman. I didnt get back home
til 1:30 am... (looks up from the screen and realizes this is all
quite a ramble) I am dealing with several things while I write this
so I am partially dumping inner monologue, sorry... Anyways...
The cat was very happy to see me. She grabbed my leg. I didn't
really leave her alone that long.. but she is attached, since its
only her and myself... Oh yah... I almost forgot. My car is broke.
It felt like wheel bearings, which I had replaced to today.
212 bucks. :( Thats not the only problem though.. See my car is
walking on the road... not good. I figured it was the front wheel
bearings, cause they were loose.. I was partially right. They did
need to be replaced badly, but also the lower control arm on the
right needs to be replaced. 750 bucks. Needless to say, my car
still walks. It's driveable, but I wouldnt want to take another trip
in it til I get it fixed. So, now I am considering another car. Maybe
a Kia or a Dodge. Something for daily use. I plan to drive the
porsche on the weekends only... but decisions decisions.
I'm doing it again, dumping stuff onto the page...
I should have titled this rant \"scatter brained\" heh!
Hi. I just got off work. blah. On the way home, I realized what
Thanksgiving is all about. Everyone says be thankful for this
or that... but really, it's about being with someone. Give thanks
for your family, significant other, or what not, but more so
be with them. You may not know what I mean really, unless
you have come home to a empty house, with nothing but a
cat to greet you. I still have the wishbone from last Thanksgiving,
heh, I wonder if it will bring happiness. Who knows. *sigh*
At least I won't be totally alone for TG, I have to work tonight.
And we are gonna get food. Last night was uber quiet, no
issues, and I hope tonight is the same. So, anyways, moral
of todays entry: spend time with ppl you love, they can be
annoying now, but it sucks when your not with anyone.
Good morning. I just woke up from being awake 40 hours or so.
Why you ask? Uh... well, I went to work the other day, and
I was bored when I got off, so a friend and I went and had
lunch with Shizniz and his co-worker, at a seafood place. We
had lobster and froglegs... good stuff. Anyways, shiz had to
go back to work, so my friend and I left. We went and played
some pool, and bowled for a bit. Then we went to a kereoke
bar. Weird stuff. I didn't get home til like 1:30 am... So, if you
talked to me last night, and I wasnt quite right, thats why. I am
still rather tired, but I am going to probably go out and find a
diversion tonight... I am trying not to sit in one spot too long,
harder to get depressed that way. BTW, I have a big rant
in my head, on why I think I am here, or my purpose if I will.
I really didn't like what I came up with.. maybe I will write it
down and publish it on here....
Well... I just went outside to smoke a cigerette. Nothing unusual ,
you say? I decided to call my Dad... he wasn't home, no surprise,
but a chick answered the phone. I was like uhhhhhhh wtf... got
a even bigger surprise that it was my sister Angie. Pretty cool.
So anyways, I am thinking about going to Oklahoma next
weekend... not sure yet. I havent seen my Mom for a while either..
Anyways.. It's sunday night and I am working. I will be off
Monday and Tuesday, so I have 10 more hours of work, before
2 days rest. Maybe I will clean my house or something. Or sit
around playing Operation Flashpoint... mmmmMMMm. I did a new
background last night, you can see it on the releases/writings
section of this page. I also did a new screen shot this morning.
What else... I can't think of anything. I feel rather good atm. Yah
life is still depressing, but sometimes there are little things that
make it better.
Bah. Working on the weekend tends to suck. There has to be
more then this. But what? I woke up today at 4 pm, was at work
by 6pm, and it feels that I never left. My only human contact is
at work. Would be awesome if I worked with cute chicks...
Anyways, I will be coming into my short week Monday... so I will
be off work Monday/Tuesday, and Friday/Saturday/Sunday... I am
wondering what I am going to do with all that time. I need a
diversion. I am thinking about going skydiving. Or something...
*sigh* If anyone has any suggestions, let me know soon!
Oh, lets see... I released Ebolavision 3.0 last night. Its a script for
the IRC client BitchX. Kinda nifty. Anyways, I am going to go
find something to become unbored.
Bugs really suck. I just thought you guys should know that.
Well, I redid the rants page. I took the LoU backend update utility
and modded it so I could keep some kind of journal or something.
Pr00f should be proud, as its mostly his utility.. very nice. Anyways,
I am going to try and keep some kind of journal on here. Try.
Now that it isnt such a pain to update, maybe I will add to this
everyday, or every other day. As far as latest happenings... hmmm,
I got a bookcase, and uhh... thats pretty much the excitement
of my life. I got a bookcase. I put my books on it. Wow. Oh yah,
I have started taking a little bit more interest in my mud, doing some
code stuff on it and such. Anything to keep me from being bored
at work. I just haven't been that motivated about anything lately.
I need to take a trip somewhere. blah.
Long time, no write, don't care... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
July 29, 2004, 3:02 am
So what now you are asking... I'm no longer concerned about pushing any barriers, or seeing open source software in the workplace.. I just want a job where I am treated fairly, where hard work pays off, and where we never say, \"the customer doesn't know any better.\" - The customer ALWAYS knows better... and frankly, if that is your attitude, then get ready for when the customer does know better, because they will be taking thier business elsewhere.
I'm dusting myself off. Getting back on the horse. 3rd time is certainly the charm, and I hope that my next job is better then the last two... I will see you all at Defcon... thanks to some good friends, I am able to attend, and I hope to have as much fun as I did my first time (DC7).
To everyone that has been supportive of me: I had never known how many friends I had until these latest trials. It is because of you that I remain in Dallas, and it will be because of you that I will fight to get back on that horse. I hope I do not let you down, and thank you very much for showing what is important in this life.
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Tom Petty - Good to Be King [05:10]
Current Mood: Frankly, you don\'t want to know... I am eager for Defcon though!!!
Current Activity: Packing. Need sleep.
O-si-yo! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 17, 2004, 7:38 pm
Current Music: Guns n Roses - Lost in the Garden of Eden
Current Mood: I don\'t know.. maybe thats a good thing.
Current Activity: Unwinding
I'm dead! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 2, 2004, 1:59 pm
Current Music: B\'z - Shine
Current Mood: No mood right now...
Current Activity: Waking up.
Blah. What now? - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 1, 2004, 1:13 am
Current Music: Steely Dan - Do It Again
Current Mood: restless, tired, depressed
Current Activity: I\'m a piss poor planner, what can I say? Vegging out. I should go on a media fast... find a cabin, wear a tinfoil hat.
Ahh, tired... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 30, 2004, 1:31 am
Current Music: DJ Micro - Jareth\'s Church
Current Mood: Not really in a mood. Underlying depression, but stunted for the moment.
Current Activity: I don\'t know... I guess I will fire up the SOCOM, or perhaps I will find something to take apart.
Vacation! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 28, 2004, 5:18 pm
Current Music: Star Wars - Duel of the Fates
Current Mood: Underlying depression, but I know I am at the cusp of change, riding the wave, hoping to not get crashed... in the short term mood, I have had a pleasant day, so I will persist.
Current Activity: Do-it-yourself Home based Labotomy and Labotomy for Dummies! Where\'s my Black and Decker?
Ugh. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 25, 2004, 12:01 am
Current Music: none
Current Mood: depressed
Current Activity: sleep.
Whats the Point? - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 6, 2004, 1:05 am
(23:58:34) mom: are you fuckin nuts????
I'm depressed.
Current Music: DJ Micro - Final Frontier
Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Activity: Talking on messenger.. preparing for sleep.
Wheeeeeee. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 1, 2004, 6:30 pm
Current Music: Run DMC and Aerosmith - Walk this way
Current Mood: Hungover, trying to defeat depression by partying my ass off.
Current Activity: Waking up, defeating hangover, your digi needs food badly, your digi is about to die.
pr00f is a bad influence... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 18, 2004, 9:38 pm
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
On rare occassions, however, the planes may intersect and for a brief moment,tear the fabric of space itself, which opens up a hole-or gateway-between these two universes.
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Apocalyptica - Unforgiven [05:16]
Current Mood: Moody, depressed, blah
Current Activity: Reading and talking with my irk family.
Blah... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 10, 2004, 1:25 pm
Current Music: Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O Mine
Current Mood: Blah.
Current Activity: Waking up.
Blah - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 7, 2004, 9:06 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Jackyl - Dixieland [06:01]
Current Mood: i dont know. blah
Current Activity: 9 pm gets amazingly complicated sometimes.
Orkut still suspended, but it's been a good day - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 31, 2004, 9:12 pm
Thank you for contacting orkut.com. Your message is important to us, and
we will respond to it as soon as possible. In the meantime, you may be
able to find the answer to your question in our online help section at
http://help.orkut.com/.
Stay connected,
orkut.com
I guess... maybe there is hope. I still don't know what I did to get suspended from it. Ahh well.. I did noticed that they have moved to a Trakken system to process email... Perhaps there are hundreds of people having this same issue? I find this very interesting... Social Clicks in Social Software - not only just for the people that inhabit the software, but also for the admins! Hmmm.. Beyond the Orkut stuff, I am having a great day! I got alot of stuff done at work, and I am getting good news about lots of things, and well, everything is going well! This is completely opposite of yesterday... man, that was a crappy day.. Today was elite! I was bouncing around, getting things done, making super progress! I love it! I love it when I can close out projects... makes me feel soooooooo gooooooooood. haha, anyways, what else.. not much else... getting ready to throw down the SOCOM II, and blast some members of my clan.. the TKE... Tau Kappa Epsilon was gracious enough to let me join their clan... and so I have been trying to get on every weeknight to play... they are a great bunch of guys, and I know a few of them.. awesome bunch. TKE, also known as The Killing Experts rock the socks.. each person has their notable attacks, and traits.. 11incheslimp is the king of shotgun, Bulet Magnet is the king of mines, and dirty killing, Tau Kappa Killa is the sniper from hell. He also mines... Private Pyle leads our clan, and he is VERY good at this game.. He hates 11's shotgun tactics.. oh, what is my speciality? I share the RPG/AT4/Grenade Launcher with Johnny Walker! He is more deadly then me with the things.. and he usually carries more then one rocket.. watch out! Our weapons of choice usually always vary... mine lately has been the M4 with M203.. very effective. Speaking of which, I am 10 minutes late to play... be well my friends, and may us all have a pleasant day tomorrow... Security specialists especially, as tomorrow is April 1st... prepare for the hoaxes, viruses, and general FUD that happens to everyone that works InfoSec this time of year... Stay safe and educated!
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Marylin Manson - This Is The New Shit [04:20
Current Mood: Happy! Bounce! Bounce!
Current Activity: Time for SOCOM... Bring em!
Another one bites the dust - No digi on Orkut - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 30, 2004, 8:42 pm
Your orkut account has been suspended pending review. If you would like to get your account reactivated, please email admin@orkut.com.
What the hell? What did I do? I didn't mass message, didn't have anything profane, didn't cause trouble... and my account is SUSPENDED? I mean, I can't figure it out. I have emailed them to ask why... maybe its a mistake. I mean... its not like Orkut was a large fixture in my digital life, but it WAS interesting to read sometimes. Is this some kind of declaration of \"its a cool club and you are not invited?\". So I get to be treated like a digital social leper? I find this very interesting as getting back in and raising hell would not be a problem... I mean, I do security for a living, not like I can't shake the software down and find things... there are numerous posts to that effect. Is it worth the time? A Orkut information page? Yet another one, in the sea of what seems to be quite common? I don't know.. I just want my account back so I can read the local Dallas forums. At least they should tell me why my account is suspended... This did lead me to a interesting thought, based on messaging/p2p/social networks.. a fully encrypted, invite only messenger, allowing file sharing, profiles, and distributed bandwidth.. Invites could be done like the alla's in the rudy rucker book \"freeware\" I believe thats the one... only invite so many friends in, and thats it. Not a race for popularity, but a race to have quality friends... plus, your file sharing would only be limited to friends... not friends of friends.. you wouldnt want to share with the wrong person. I don't know.. I have never written anything like a messaging client before.. I might be able to hack the gaim source and get something going... would be interesting. I guess in the end, that will be the price something like Orkut pays for this weird behavior.. someone will innovate something better... a new fad, a new timekiller. For now, I'd just like to come home from security crap, and read my damn forums.
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Loudness - After Illusion [05:59]
Current Mood: Not as bad as earlier, getting better.. slightly confused
Current Activity: Thinking... about... you.
Drunken Haze - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 28, 2004, 3:57 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Gone In 60 Seconds - The Cult - Painted On My Heart [04:28
Current Mood: I can\'t describe it, as its pretty bleak.
Current Activity: Sleep soon.
Drunken Haze... - Contributed by
March 28, 2004, 3:36 am
Current Music:
Current Mood:
Current Activity:
whatever. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 23, 2004, 10:56 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Mega Deth - Trust (Live) [04:52]
Current Mood: blah. empty.
Current Activity: Feel like I\'ve been beat up or somethin.. I think I will sleep now.
Blah, but not as much blah. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 21, 2004, 11:31 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Megadeth - Holy Wars [06:36]
Current Mood: blah.
Current Activity: laundry. getting ready for the new week.
Letting it go.. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 11, 2004, 1:46 pm
Current Music: None.. I might have to put on some 80\'s stream in a second...
Current Mood: Content... its getting better.
Current Activity: Work. Work. Work.
Hmm.. It's Saturday - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 6, 2004, 7:12 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Ministry of Sound - Dreams Loast for Long [04:16]
Current Mood: Shaky.
Current Activity: Reading some stuff.
So much for a good day... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 5, 2004, 10:16 am
Current Music: none.
Current Mood: Why bother?
Current Activity: I *was* on a conference call, but it dropped... what the hell is going on?
Another sleepless night - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 5, 2004, 6:36 am
# You will take issue and not shy away from confrontation when others disagree with how you feel or think.
# You have a natural enthusiasm for the activities you prefer. Because of your enthusiasm, you may forget that others have different wants and needs.
# In social situations, you prefer variety, adventure and the unusual. You may lose interest if you feel a situation is becoming routine. As a result, you must be kept busy and involved with making things happen.
# Your primary social strategy is making things happen and happen now. Usually very active, you thrive on challenge. When the going gets tough, you get going.
# You love challenges and competition. At the same time, you must realize and appreciate that others may not share your zest for challenges and competition.
# You respect those who win out against the odds and show persistence. You set high goals for yourself and others.
# You have a high interest in the new, the unusual and the adventurous. You may also be curious and have a wide range of interests, preferring an ever-changing environment.
hmmm, yeah. That's about right. So, basically, sitting here in my boxers, finished the morning turnover call... trying to wake up.. it might be a redbull morning... I'm almost sure of it. Let's see how the day goes.
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard - Gladiator - The Battle (1) [10:02]
Current Mood: Tired, depressed, can\'t snap out of it
Current Activity: Smoking a cig, trying to motivate enough to get to work
My name is mud - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 4, 2004, 10:41 pm
Current Music: bah
Current Mood: bah
Current Activity: bah
Ugh - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 4, 2004, 10:38 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Primus - My Name Is Mud [05:08]
Current Mood: bah@
Current Activity: don\'t ask.
What's the use? - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 4, 2004, 10:34 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Alice in Chains - No Excuses [04:14]
Current Mood: Unchanged. I am depressed... Netbeui tells me I am too negative.
Current Activity: I am the living incarnate of Doom. Black clouds hang over my head. Tomorrow is another day.
Feh. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 4, 2004, 9:12 am
Current Music: none yet. I don\'t know what I want to hear yet. Although, the first song I heard today (via wintermute\'s audio system) was Prong\'s Snap Your Fingers... Made me slightly optimistic about the day.
Current Mood: Lonely, depressed, shifting into change/creation mode as a default for bad thoughts.
Current Activity: Work. Or something that resembles it.
Blah - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 26, 2004, 11:36 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Nickelback - Figured You Out [03:48]
Current Mood: sad, tired, depressed
Current Activity: Contemplating Heisenberg, and how it applies to my life. Time for sleep.
moin moin - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 3, 2004, 6:47 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Megadeth - Trust [05:10]
Current Mood: Not awake enough, so far I\'m okay though
Current Activity: Preparing for work.
rah rah rah blah blah blah whoopee - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 29, 2004, 9:18 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Megadeth Holy Wars the Punishment Due (Schwarzkoff Mix) [04:57]
Current Mood: blah.
Current Activity: grinding my swg character for jedi. I mastered weaponsmith, now 3/4 through entertainer. Damn holocrons. Getting sleepy.
Happy New Years or something - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 1, 2004, 5:24 am
Current Music: nothing.
Current Mood: freaked out
Current Activity: In pain. My head feels terrible due to flu.
Blah. December. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 21, 2003, 9:54 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Duran Duran - A View To A Kill [03:35]
Current Mood: Sad, depressed, tired
Current Activity: Preparing for a busy week.
A night out... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
October 23, 2003, 3:56 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Tool - Forty Six and 2 [06:00]
Current Mood: Starting to get a little depressed...
Current Activity: Preparing for the dark abyss that is sleep.
Wheeeeeeee! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
October 21, 2003, 11:11 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger [03:44]
Current Mood: Blah!
Current Activity: I gotta whiz.
Productivity never ceases. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
September 2, 2003, 7:53 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Queen - Who Wants to Live Forever [05:13]
Current Mood: Happy.
Current Activity: Being productive!
Worms and Fatigue - Contributed by Digital Ebola
August 13, 2003, 4:39 pm
Current Music: Weird Al - Amish Paradise
Current Mood: Tired, starting to feel depressed because I feel like crap
Current Activity: Just finished up some work, I dont know now.
Still sick :( - Contributed by Digital Ebola
August 10, 2003, 8:34 pm
Current Music: Nine Inch Nails - The Becoming
Current Mood: Don\'t have one.
Current Activity: Sitting here, feeling like crap.
Ugh. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
August 8, 2003, 9:32 pm
Current Music: Star Wars Galaxies Cantina music.
Current Mood: I don\'t know.
Current Activity: Playing SWG, feeling like crap.
Damn.. lots of stuff. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
July 28, 2003, 10:35 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Gypsy Kings - Hotel California (Spanish). [05:47]
Current Mood: Happy, tired, anxious
Current Activity: Going to bed. 1 more day of work, and then my ass outta here.
So very tired... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 24, 2003, 6:05 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Dieselboy - Invid (Future Cut \"Second Com [07:47]
Current Mood: Something altered by 5 redbulls. I am too tired to have a mood.
Current Activity: Crawling towards my bed... Code mode is now OFF.
Blah/blah - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 23, 2003, 9:17 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> BT - The Revolution [04:17]
Current Mood: Confused.
Current Activity: Sittin here. Blah.
The soul and its many parts... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 20, 2003, 10:57 pm
Current Music: Damn Matrix Reloaded soundtrack
Current Mood: I don\'t honestly know. Imagine being happy while having your entrails ripped out, and thats prolly me.
Current Activity: Sitting here.
Days. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 18, 2003, 10:40 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Juno Reactor Vs Don Davis - Burly Brawl [05:52]
Current Mood: happy, tired, my internal clock is confused. It is blinking 12:00! 12:00! 12:00!
Current Activity: Going out. Vroom vroom!
Good day. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 15, 2003, 8:53 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Scorpians - Winds of Change [05:13]
Current Mood: happy.
Current Activity: Trying to tire myself out so I can change my schedule.
Wheeeeeeeee. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 15, 2003, 2:47 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Motley Crue Primal Scream [04:43]
Current Mood: not really any kind of mood
Current Activity: Coffee!
Reflections of a saner mind - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 9, 2003, 11:36 pm
Current Music: Rob Dougan - Furious Angels
Current Mood: happy, sad, reflective
Current Activity: Coffee.
Rah Rah Rah - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 4, 2003, 8:54 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Juno Reactor - Don Davis - Mona Lisa [10:09]
Current Mood: Happy, but very very tired.
Current Activity: Playing Eve
b0ing. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 23, 2003, 7:36 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> 5th Element - Timecrash [01:49]
Current Mood: Happy
Current Activity: Sleepy.
Sunday. Not so lazy. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 4, 2003, 6:58 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Powerman5000 - When Worlds Collide [02:57]
Current Mood: Happy, content, joyful even...
Current Activity: I brim, I froth, I bleed with happy thoughts. Lets clean!
Morning. My evening, but your morning. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 2, 2003, 5:38 am
Current Music: Prodigy - Poison
Current Mood: Happy, slightly worn down, eager for the weekend
Current Activity: Working, preparing for the end. wh00t.
Blah, a morning. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 26, 2003, 8:14 am
Current Music: Loudness - After Illusion
Current Mood: I don\'t know.
Current Activity: Smoking a cig. Preparing for sleep.
Another morning - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 8, 2003, 8:26 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> U2 - With or Without You (Live From Edmonton) [04:40]
Current Mood: Happy, tired, questioning my being
Current Activity: Getting ready for sleep.
Good morning. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 2, 2003, 7:21 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Ratt - Ratt Round and Round [04:25]
Current Mood: Happy.
Current Activity: Smoke, staring blankly at several mozilla windows.. It\'s short attention span morning!
Blog blog blog - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 26, 2003, 3:44 am
Current Music: Black Sabbath - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Current Mood: Happy. =)
Current Activity: Working, but I need a smoke.
Happy weekend so far, yet tired... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 9, 2003, 2:11 am
Current Music: None..
Current Mood: Happy, tired, enjoying the time off
Current Activity: Watching Headline News with xawtv.
Erm. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 6, 2003, 7:55 am
Current Music: blah
Current Mood: blah!
Current Activity: Sometimes bugs happen.
The daily life of digi... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 6, 2003, 7:50 am
Current Music: None. Watching CNN for my newsfix. TV cards are awesome!
Current Mood: Happy, tired
Current Activity: Going to sleep.
Tired... :( - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 5, 2003, 12:28 am
Current Music: Robd - Clubbed to Death
Current Mood: Tired, pained, content
Current Activity: Smoking a cigerette, getting ready for bed.
arg. whatever. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 26, 2003, 10:58 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Doors - Light My Fire [07:06]
Current Mood: I feel old. Restless. I am turning into a grumpy old man.
Current Activity: Dragging ass. I am tired.
Damnable insomnia. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 13, 2003, 8:22 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Drowning Pool - Tear Away [04:14]
Current Mood: Happy I guess. I dunno.
Current Activity: Fighting insomnia.
blog blog blog - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 3, 2003, 1:26 am
Current Music: Aphex Twin - Pulsewidth
Current Mood: Reflective, happy, kinda sniffly on the inside due to current events, hopeful.
Current Activity: Work, its time for a smoke. Away with me!
Happy Belated New Year, and other fun things... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 4, 2003, 8:09 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Van Halen - Pretty Woman [04:34]
Current Mood: Happy, tired, and cheerful.
Current Activity: Writing, havin a coke, and watching Poe make a fool out of her self. Silly kitty.
Hohoho - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 18, 2002, 3:45 am
Current Music: Nirvana - You Know You Are Right
Current Mood: Happy, kinda tired, ready to get out of here
Current Activity: exit stage left, need a smoke.
*sigh* - Contributed by Digital Ebola
October 23, 2002, 7:16 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Animation - Obsession [05:47]
Current Mood: Depressed. Dark. Tired, worn down, burnt out, feh. feh. feh.
Current Activity: Smoking a cigerette, getting ready for sleep. Wheeeee.
b00yah! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
October 2, 2002, 11:34 pm
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> : ampedOut : it\'s like a god\'s rubbing your tummy @ stoicnoise.net [00:00]
Current Mood: Happy, creative, but missing you. :(
Current Activity: I dunno. What should I be doing?
Hi! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
September 10, 2002, 1:13 pm
Current Music: Disturbed - The Game
Current Mood: Happy.
Current Activity: Waking up...
Back to the grind. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
August 9, 2002, 3:40 pm
Current Music: Spy Game Soundtrack
Current Mood: Content
Current Activity: Waking up.. work soon.
1 more day of work! Then vacation time! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
July 28, 2002, 6:08 am
Current Music: none
Current Mood: tired, excited
Current Activity: not a damn thing.
Tired. Very. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
July 15, 2002, 5:53 am
Current Music: none.
Current Mood: Tired, blah. Depressed. blah.
Current Activity: TO Meeting.
Another month gone by - Contributed by Digital Ebola
June 15, 2002, 5:09 am
Current Music: None. Something is on the main monitor, but I ain\'t watchin
Current Mood: Happy, with underlying lonely depression. It\'s not that bad, and I am tired.
Current Activity: Work. Must.. have.. cigerette.
Whoa. Long time since update... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
May 16, 2002, 10:10 pm
Current Music: Duran Duran - Come Undone
Current Mood: Happy, slightly excited..
Current Activity: Not a damn thing...
Hmmmm.. interesting shower thoughts. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 20, 2002, 4:11 pm
For every legitimate access method, there is at least at one
form of security compromise related to said access method.
Simple Access Example #1:
You run a machine with 50 users. All 50 users have shell access
available via telnet. Thats 50 different passwords a attacker
can possibly brute force. 50 possible entry points.
Simple Access Example #2:
Evil record company dislikes anyone copying their media.
Their solution: invent new type of media that cannot be copied.
Flaw: if media can be accessed (i.e. played) then media can
be copied.
Ah, the things one thinks about in the shower...
Current Music: Pantera - Cemetary Gates
Current Mood: Blah.
Current Activity: Procrastinating work.
Happy Weekend So Far!!! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 13, 2002, 9:51 am
Current Music: Nine Inch Nails - Wish
Current Mood: Happy! Looking to the future with glee!
Current Activity: Waking up!
Vroooooooooom! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 10, 2002, 4:29 pm
Current Music: Dj Middle Ground - Duel of the Fates Remix
Current Mood: Sleepy, but feelin okay
Current Activity: Mentally preparing myself for work.
sigh. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 6, 2002, 5:05 am
Current Music: none. to hell with it.
Current Mood: Depressed, alone, and obsolete.
Current Activity: Day 1 of 3 days of work.
More Self Analysis - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 2, 2002, 9:34 pm
Current Music: None at the moment.
Current Mood: Slightly agressive, slightly run-down, more hopeful then depressed
Current Activity: Work, organizing my written ideas, procedures and other random work stuff.
Almost time for another workday... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 1, 2002, 4:27 pm
Current Music: KMFDM - Dirty
Current Mood: Hopeful
Current Activity: Procrastinating. uNF.
Weekends gone, smoke em if you got em - Contributed by Digital Ebola
April 1, 2002, 12:06 am
Current Music: Puddle of Mud - Blurry
Current Mood: depressed, lonely, but somehow reflective and hopeful.
Current Activity: Deep thought. Downloading stuff.
I just said up yours, baby - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 28, 2002, 7:52 am
Current Music: Stone Temple Pilots - Sex Type Thing
Current Mood: tired, shaky, not quite as depressed
Current Activity: going to sleep.
Good morning, how the hell are ya? - Contributed by Digital Ebola
March 27, 2002, 7:34 am
Current Music: Aerosmith - Crying
Current Mood: Depressed , yet hopeful
Current Activity: Waking up.
Ugh again. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 27, 2002, 5:01 am
Current Music: Metallica - Turn the Page
Current Mood: Depressed, 1 year older.
Current Activity: Waiting for my everquest dude to heal up so I can kick major orc butt.
Ugh. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
February 1, 2002, 1:12 am
Current Music: Senser - State of Mind
Current Mood: Depressed. Duh. I feel sick.
Current Activity: Work.
Humanity is doomed... and other stuff. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 26, 2002, 1:48 am
Current Music: None, watching Rush Hour 2.
Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Activity: Work. Wishing EQ would run. hehe.
Death walks with digi. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 22, 2002, 10:08 pm
Current Music: none.
Current Mood: depressed.
Current Activity: work.
Whatever. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 13, 2002, 7:42 am
Current Music: Conan the Barbarian soundtrack
Current Mood: tired, lonely and depressed
Current Activity: Lighting a cigerette. Fumar!
Tired. Very. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
January 3, 2002, 3:33 am
Current Music: Duran Duran - Ordinary World
Current Mood: Longing, depressed, trying to look forward
Current Activity: Work. Trying to stay awake.
Hi! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 29, 2001, 3:35 am
Current Music: I need ammo!
Current Mood: kinda sad, kinda blah
Current Activity: work.
h0h0h0 - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 25, 2001, 5:42 am
Current Music: None... cept the hum of the laser printer as it prints morning reports. This is good, because it\'s signalling go-home time.
Current Mood: Happy, kinda homesick, and missing my girl.
Current Activity: Work. Whatelse.
It's late, my head hurts and I am kicking ass - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 24, 2001, 3:08 am
Current Music: Playing via XMMS -> Inxs - Elegantly Wasted [04:32]
Current Mood: happy and tired, missin my girlie
Current Activity: kickin it, digi style. networking, configuring, building... wh00t.
Wh00t. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 19, 2001, 7:57 pm
Current Music: White Zombie - More Human then Human.
Current Mood: Happy!
Current Activity: Work. Watching Roadtrip go crazy. Going outside for a smoke.
Very tired. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 15, 2001, 1:51 am
Current Music: I think music would put me to sleep, so no.
Current Mood: happy, yet exhausted.
Current Activity: work. 4 more hours.
Uhh... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 11, 2001, 10:44 pm
Current Music: None. Hackers 2 is playing. Bleh.
Current Mood: Kinda lonely, homesick, and well, not depressed, but like a happy/sad kinda thing.
Current Activity: Work. Visio, movie, email, etc.
Almost weekend - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 6, 2001, 8:36 pm
Current Music: Rob Zombie - Superbeast
Current Mood: Happy with a underlying depression. Crazy?
Current Activity: Work.
Bah humbug. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 6, 2001, 1:38 am
Current Music: none.
Current Mood: pissed off and tired.
Current Activity: Work.
Last night until short work week! - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 2, 2001, 6:48 pm
Current Music: White Zombie - Black Sunshine
Current Mood: Tired but happy...
Current Activity: Work.
Weekend work - Contributed by Digital Ebola
December 1, 2001, 3:51 am
Current Music: None...
Current Mood: Hyper...
Current Activity: Work
Still sleepy - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 29, 2001, 2:20 pm
Current Music: Billy Idol - Rebel Yell
Current Mood: I think you call it \"blah\"
Current Activity: Reading email.
Erm... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 27, 2001, 9:52 pm
Current Music: None. On a conference call with stupid people.
Current Mood: Actually, I am happy. Not thrilled, but I feel pretty good.
Current Activity: Work. Conference call. Listening to random things fly around the room about the thing we are working on.
Happy Thanksgiving - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 22, 2001, 7:01 am
Current Music: Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Activity: Smoking a cigerette, thinking about crap.
Sleepy - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 20, 2001, 3:47 pm
Current Music: Braveheart
Current Mood: Tired, depressed
Current Activity: My phone keeps ringing...
One more night... - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 18, 2001, 8:08 pm
Current Music: None, but my co-worker Roadtrip is playing these anti-taliban flash videos and its quite funny.
Current Mood: Happy
Current Activity: Work. 10 more hours to go...
Bah. Long Nights. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 17, 2001, 9:01 pm
Current Music: Metallica - Welcome Home Sanitarium.
Current Mood: Depressed, anxious, bored.
Current Activity: Work
Bugs really suck - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 16, 2001, 7:42 pm
Current Music: White Zombie - Boogieman
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Activity: Work
The rant page. - Contributed by Digital Ebola
November 16, 2001, 7:33 pm
Current Music: KMFDM - DIY
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Activity: Work.
Wednesday 10th 2010f March 2010 06:07:23 PM
